Books, Reading Challenge, reviews

2018 Reading Challenge, Book 10 – All That She Can See

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And here we are with book 9 of the year down. There is a part of me that is aware that by this point last year I had read way more books than the 9 that I currently stand at (I was at 12/13) and for some reason that make that part of me panic because the amount of books that I have to read this year is bigger than last year. But I’m not stressing about that on the whole, one because that’s insane and two because these books are all within my wheelhouse of being able to read them in a week (roughly). Which is what I did with this one (it was 4 days if you want to get technical)

The next book in question is this one.

I mentioned in my original reading challenge post for this year that I wasn’t 100% sure on my opinion on Fletcher’s writing was. And annoyingly I still don’t. But I do feel like I am closer to figuring it out. And it’s not necessarily good.

I like her writing style because it’s easy. I can blitz through so many pages in my half hour journey to and from work with ease and not even really notice that I am doing it. And I like elements of the plot, but for the most part I just wasn’t a fan. Which is slightly annoying as I wanted to like this one. I had higher hopes for it then I did her previous one. And that is where I was let down I guess. I try to go into books with no expectations because that is safer, but I didn’t with this and I was let down.

The first 50/60 pages of this book felt really repetitive. In fact a couple of things were repeated verbatim. And then it got a bit silly when I was supposed to believe that a 24 year old had never had any interaction with the internet, social media and a phone. It just made no sense and from that point onward I carried reading it with an element of skepticism that this is just not going to my cup of tea.

Which was proven further by the whole second half of the book. I am fully aware that this is a magical realism kind of book but the second half of the book seemed like a totally different book the first half. I could deal with a sort of baked goods/cocktails turf war with a  hatred turned love relationship thing. That is not what I got.

Not even close.

I don’t even really know how to describe what the second half of this book was. But it was so random. It felt like it was trying to make a point about feelings and how important they are but it just got a bit too far fetched.

Actually calling it far fetched doesn’t make sense, this is fiction, if you can justify it then it makes sense. But this didn’t feel like that. I get that Chase and Cherry didn’t know anything about there being other people like them and I guess it would make sense for there to be some kind of government for that but this just didn’t make sense. Because there was nothing to suggest that this was coming. With the exception of mentioning Peter at the beginning and linking him to her childhood.

Another issue that I had with this book was that none of the characters felt fully fleshed out. They all fell a bit flat. Chase was a dick but the nuances of that were never explored. I really want an explanation as to how Cherry managed to live such a sheltered life and not know what the Facebook was…I feel like I was supposed to care about the Shura/Peter thing but Shura practically didn’t exist so I didn’t get why I was supposed to care. I had no investment but I didn’t care. He carried a lot of hatred, which made sense but also wasn’t explained. The people of Plymouth (or the small area that they occupied) were all just there. They had the potential to be something but then the book took a turn and nothing really happened. Happy was just ironic but that was it. There was just a lot of underdeveloped characters in a weird clunky plot.

This is the thing that really got me is that the start of this book kind of felt like it was beginning at the end. It felt warm and fuzzy and all that jazz. But it didn’t start at the end. The end felt weird. It felt clunky. Really clunky. I finished it just thinking what the hell. And I get the message that we give our feelings the power over what they do to us but it just felt clunky.

Yeah. That’s where I’m at with this book. I didn’t hate it. But I really did not like it.

2/5 stars

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Books

The Goodreads Book Tag

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Oh what a surprise, another book tag. This one I saw on Liam’s blog yesterday and well I didn’t have a plan for today and so here we are.

What was the last book you marked as ‘read’?

I’m writing this on Thursday and on a day when I am nearing the end of a book, but as it has not yet been finished I can’t quite say that it’s been marked as read, so in that case the answer is The Girl of Ink and Stars and I attempted to make sense of my thoughts on it here.

What are you currently reading?

The book that I am almost finished is All That She Can See. The review is coming, I am just as confused as I was with the last book I read.

What book do you plan to read next?

Currently I’m thinking Postcards From the Edge. Or it might be Eat, Pray, Love. I have 3 books left on this post to read and am currently looking mostly on track to succeed with that. It’s most likely to be Postcards just because of the length and the fact that I can probably get it done in a couple of days (hopefully)

Do you use the star rating system?

I do, just to give myself a general idea of where I stand with it when I come to actually writing up the reviews

Are you doing a 2018 Reading Challenge? 

I am, it’s set at 65 currently, but as I mentioned here I’m kind of going for 70.

Do you have a wishlist?

No.

What book do you plan to buy next?

I’m trying to minimize the amount of books I buy right now. I did just buy two at the weekend (for a fiver in the end, which is kind of why I did it. I had an itch to scratch and I managed to do that and save £11 in the process which made it feel a little better) and so am trying to not buy anymore. There’s some pre-orders I have but I don’t really remember but I imagine I will get a dispatch email letting me know that I have a new one on the way I just don’t know when that will be.

Do you have any favorite quotes? Share a few.

I have so many. None that are saved on Goodreads or anything because I forget that is a feature on there.

But I’m only going to put one here from one of my always recommend books, The Night Circus (because it is just one the most stunningly written books that I have ever read)

‘You may tell a tale that takes up residence in someone’s soul, becomes their blood and self and purpose. That tale will move them and drive them and who knows that they might do because of it, because of your words. That is your role, your gift.’

Who are your favorite authors?

I have a lot. Obviously, Neil Gaiman. Donna Tartt. Samantha Shannon and Alwyn Hamilton are up there. Erin Morgenstern (yes, on the back off one book alone). I’m loving Kiersten White and her world building. Carrie Fisher has a brilliant way with words. I actually not necessarily hate Hemingway. Like I said there are a lot, I could go on.

Have you joined any groups?

I don’t think so (also didn’t bother to check whether I had). I don’t really utilize the site the way that I can to be honest. I just track my books with it.

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fitness, My Life

The Diet

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This way lies fitness chat of sorts.

This week I decided to track what I ate during the day for the whole week just to get an idea of it all. Not because I was looking to start counting calories or because I was looking to get restrictive and super controlled with my eating, but mainly just out of curiosity.

I have learnt one thing so far that for some reason I didn’t really ever take note of. My eating habits are really damn repetitive. With the exception of dinner and the fact that I had something sweet after dinner on Monday (strawberries), I have eaten the exact same thing all week. For three whole days. There is no variation in my day to day (actually I tell a small lie, Tuesday and Wednesday I added a protein shake). It changes with dinner and even then I’ve had rice and chicken 2 out of 3 days just dressed up a bit differently.

This week has also given me a vague idea of my macros. My protein is fine and considered to be within range, but I need to switch my fats and carbs around. The balance between those two is only marginally out, which I didn’t know and well apparently that is useful to know for me.

The reason that I’ve done this this week is because all the exercise in the world isn’t going to fix a poor diet. Now mine isn’t awful, but there are definitely areas that I know I could improve with it. Like the fruit and veg part of it, I still hover at 2/3 a day and sometimes it’s really bad and I only have one (and that one is an avocado because I am nothing if not basic) and so putting it down onto paper (an app) really highlights the weak points.

I’ve also done it because I’m gonna be real, I have no more weight to lose if I want to be a healthy weight for my height. I’ve stripped it down to the lowest it could possibly be without it getting it super dangerous (again). I’ve also done all this unintentionally. Although I don’t really know what else I expected given that I upped the exercise I do with no real changes to my diet. I imagine for a while I was in a MASSIVE calorie deficit. I’m still in one now. And I need to not be in one.

I’m trying to build muscle now, that’s a shift that I’ve had in my mindset when it comes to this healthy lifestyle of mine this past couple of weeks. And for that to happen I need to not be in a deficit. I’m not here to cut. I’ve accidentally done that already and now I need to put some weight back on. And get lean and toned and there are ways that I can achieve that through exercise, but at this point the key to this change is going to be diet.

This little exercise has also proven one how far I’ve come within myself regarding my attitude to my diet and weight etc and also just how easy I would find it to fall back into some really bad habits. I’ve tracked my food before and it made me feel worse about myself and that way lay madness that I just sort of fell into with little to no regard. I didn’t try to make any changes and it got worse and then it all went tits up until I came out the other side (of not being in uni or unemployed anymore, turns out spending time with people who will actually notice whether to not you do or don’t eat sort of makes you try a bit more).

But this time I don’t look at it and think shit I’ve eaten so much I need to restrict or shit I’ve not eaten enough I need to binge to get some energy into me. I just look at it and think, okay this is where we’re at. I need more carbs, more protein and slightly less fat (I think the balance of that is mostly healthy fats by the way, so even then it’s not super catastrophic). Currently I have no idea how I’m going to do that, but that’s one of the reasons why I embarked on this exercise. To figure it out.

I can’t get anywhere with this aspect of things without actually knowing what the reality of it is. And the reality isn’t awful. I knew it wouldn’t be awful. But there is still a part of me that spent months/years borderline obsession over this and so looking at it again kind of scared me. But the best part about the way that regular exercise has changed my mindset is that if I’m burning so many damn calories/energy then I am going to need to fuel that and food does that. And I fucking love food.

To not be mildly terrified (and also act like I’m fine with it which can get kind of exhausting) of food is surprisingly really fucking good.

The various pieces of the puzzle that is the healthy lifestyle are slowly starting to fit together and I am feeling pretty damn good for it.

Side note, I am in no way restricting any part of my diet because that is long and naattt good and also cake exists and why would I want to do that? And also for the most part I’m not tracking this beyond Sunday, but that may change (I kind of doubt that know if I know myself the way I know I do…)

Parentheses count: 9. See you tomorrow!

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Books, Reading Challenge, reviews

2018 Reading Challenge, Book 8 – The Girl of Ink and Stars

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This is a slightly tangential start to this book review, but I realised a few weeks back while I was trying to figure some stuff about what books were gonna make my little mini reading lists that I only have one book that’s over 700 pages, and that is Donna Tartt’s book. The rest, for the most part, all kind of hover just underneath 400 or so pages which makes the whole thing seem less terrifying a feat to try and achieve.

Proved by the fact that I’ve finished three books since last Monday, two books in full I was just finishing one up before that.

The next book.

Words can’t really do justice to how beautiful this book actually is. The details on the pages of this book are just stunning. The cover is gorgeous and the designs of the maps that are dotted throughout are true pieces of art.

As I’ve mentioned before, I bought this book because when I was in Waterstones it had just won an award for best Children’s Book of 2017 and well I’m a sucker for advertising it would seem. And it also followed me fucking everywhere before I finally relented.

Okay, so this book felt a little bit Rebel of the Sands in some way. I don’t even really know what it was about it that felt like that. Maybe it’s just because it was a fantasy world and it was a female heroine and I was still a little bit fucked up over the trilogy. And I thought that that residual feeling was the reason that I didn’t quite mesh with this book, and I do think it was that in part, but also I just didn’t quite mesh with it.

I don’t even really know what it was about it. It’s well written and I liked Isabella and the story itself was fine. But I just found myself moving through the whole thing and not really giving a shit…

Something about it felt a bit too rushed. I got to the last 30/40 pages and was just like how is this going to resolve itself in that few amount of pages. And it was resolved, but it felt sooo rushed. And then it all came to an end and I was like ‘oh’.

The things that I did like was the slightly mythical, magical element to it. I liked how complicated the friendship between Lupe and Isabella was. They had that kind of relationship that felt full of unconditional love but also felt so teenaged in the way that it moved. But it also felt kind of undeveloped in some way. I dunno, come the end when Lupe died to save Isabella so that she could continue on the journey to save the island, I didn’t care that it had happened. I also didn’t really care about her father and what he had done…I didn’t really feel like the importance of it was really made clear because the second it was said things had moved on already.

That’s the thing that I didn’t really get on with when it came to this book. Things were said and then moved on really quickly and it just felt like it was go, go, go but it didn’t really go anywhere. It was never really explained why the Banished were the Banished, or why the Governor was so totalitarian, Yote seemed to come out of nowhere and then was suddenly super important and the myths didn’t really feel fully fleshed out so they didn’t really mean anything to me. And I could honestly go on.

There a couple of reasons why this might have happened, one I’m not in the target demographic so maybe that affected it? And two, I was kinda tired and so maybe some things just didn’t land with me and went over my head. Or maybe I just didn’t like it.

That seems the most likely.

I don’t think this book is bad, I know that it sounds like I thought that it was, but it wasn’t. It just wasn’t for me and as such I can kind of pick it apart with ease. Like I said, aesthetically this book is stunning and it does have some beautiful images in it, but it just wasn’t for me. I finished the book so confused as to whether I liked it or not and usually if I finish a book like that, it’s more likely that I didn’t.

3/5 stars

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Books

The 90s Kids Book Tag

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You know how much I love me a tag post, especially when they also involve books and this one is based on the 90s. I was born in the 90s and was 7 when it ended so you know I was kind of a 90s kid.

Oh, I came across this on Tabby’s blog.

THE RULES

  1. Please, please, please steal this tag and spread it around! I only ask that you link it back to The Literary Phoenix so that I can see everyone’s answers!
  2. Freeze tag was all the rage in the 90s. Tag someone (or many) you think would have fun with this!
  3. Have fun!

POKEMON

A GBA GAME AND TRADING CARD GAME WHERE YOU BATTLED POCKET MONSTERS AND STRIVED TO CATCH THEM ALL. BACK IN THE DAY, THERE WERE ONLY 150 POKEMON.

THE AUTHOR YOU NEED EVERY BOOK FROM.

Neil. Gaiman. I’m making kind of good progress with this to be fair, but there are still so many books.

AIM

AOL INSTANT MESSAGING – HOW 90S KIDS COMMUNICATED WITH THEIR FRIENDS AFTER SCHOOL BEFORE EVERYONE HAD A CELL PHONE.

BOOK THAT CONNECTED YOU WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND.

Will this come as a surprise if I tell you that it’s Harry Potter. There’s a whole story about that.

FURBY

CREEPY NEEDY ROBOTS YOU COULD TEACH TO TALK AND WERE PROBABLY DEMON POSSESSED. SOMEHOW THESE MADE A COMEBACK?

BOOK THAT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA BUT WAS ACTUALLY A MONSTER.

There are so many though.

N’SYNC

90S QUINTESSENTIAL BOY BAND. YOU MAY HAVE HEARD OF JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE?

A BOOK YOU HATED TO SAY BYE, BYE, BYE TO.

There are so many books. Most recently it’s the Rebel of the Sands trilogy. I am so excited that I still have some short stories from this world left to read so I haven’t said goodbye to it completely.

 

SLIMED!

GETTING GREEN SLIME THROWN ON YOU, COURTESY OF THE SHOW FIGURE IT OUT. ALSO APPARENTLY STILL A THING AT THE KID’S CHOICE AWARDS?

A BOOK EVERYONE LOVED BUT YOU HATED.

Like the whole of The Mortal Instruments… I mean I read it but I hated it pretty much the entire time. I do not understand the hype.

OREGON TRAIL

90S COMPUTER GAME YOU COULD USUALLY PLAY AT SCHOOL, WHICH WAS GREAT. IT TAUGHT US PEOPLE USED TO DIE A LOT OF GRUESOME, MESSY DEATHS.

A BOOK THAT MADE YOU WISH YOU DIED OF DYSENTERY.

Such drama. I don’t hate any book that much.

MIXTAPE/CD

BACK BEFORE EVERYONE HAD MUSIC ON THEIR PHONES (REMEMBER, WE DIDN’T HAVE CELL PHONES!) FOLKS WOULD RIP THEIR CDS AND MAKE MIXES FOR EACH OTHER.

3 BOOKS YOU RECOMMEND TO ANYONE, ANYWHERE, NO MATTER WHAT.

I did a whole damn post about the books that I will always recommend, so here are the usual suspects, The Night CircusThe Secret History, American Gods.

DIAL-UP INTERNET

YOU KNOW HOW IT’S ANNOYING WHEN YOU AREN’T ON LTE? IMAGINE WAITING 10 MINUTES FOR THE INTERNET TO START AND ANOTHER 20 MINUTES FOR GOOGLE TO LOAD!

A BOOK THAT TOOK FOR FREAKING EVER TO READ.

I’ve been trying to read Moby Dick from start to finish since 2014. So there you go.

KENAN THOMPSON

HE’S THAT GUY WHO’S BEEN ON SNL FOREVER. ALSO MIGHTY DUCKS. GOOD BURGER. KEENAN AND KEL. ALL THAT. EVERYTHING.

THAT BOOK YOU SEE REFERENCED EVERYWHERE AND IS IN EVERYTHING, BUT THAT’S OKAY BECAUSE IT’S AWESOME.

Harry Potter. Of course.

THUMBS UP, SEVEN UP

A GAME WHERE MOST THE CLASS CLOSED THEIR EYES AND SEVEN PEOPLE TAPPED SOMEONE’S THUMB AND YOU HAD TO GUESS WHO DID IT WITHOUT PEEKING.

BOOK WHERE YOU PEEKED JUST REAL QUICK AT THE ENDING BECAUSE YOU DON’T LIKE GUESSING GAMES.

Oh, I don’t do this. I like the guessing game. What’s the point.

DUNKAROOS

THESE WERE BASICALLY JUST TEDDY GRAHAMS DIPPED IN FROSTING, WHICH IS STILL A WONDERFUL SNACK IDEA.

YOUR IDEAL BOOKISH SNACK

I don’t tend to eat when I read because I do it when I’m on trains for the most part and that’s not when I also eat.

SCARY STORIES TO TELL IN THE DARK

COLLECTIONS OF SHORT STORIES THAT WOULD SCARE ANY SENSIBLE KID! PLUS, THERE WERE ILLUSTRATIONS…

A BOOK THAT KEPT YOU UP ALL NIGHT.

There are none.

BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY

BASICALLY THE COOLEST THING YOU GOT TO DO IN SCIENCE CLASS WAS WATCH BILL NYE. HE HAS A NETFLIX SHOW AGAIN!

A BOOK THAT TAUGHT YOU SOMETHING NEW.

It’s not so much that they’ve taught me anything new or anything, but there are definitely some things that I’ve been reminded me about some things, like Big Magic. However I do feel like I might learn some things from a lot of the non-fiction books that I have slated to read this year and upcoming in the next few weeks.

And that’s yet another book tag done on this here blog. There’s another book review coming tomorrow because I’m still just moving through these books at quite a pace. Also, I have like 4 books to read over the next few weeks of February that I had listed earlier in the year.

Parentheses count: 0. See you tomorrow!

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My Life

Memory

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Memory is a weird thing.

Or rather the things that your brain chooses and chooses not to remember.

I was in the shower yesterday and all of a sudden I remembered what day it was. And then I started thinking about primary school and how I was friends with two people and the three of us were born within 3 weeks of each other and that was one of the things that bonded us. We had consecutive birthdays. Mine was first on a Monday (to take this year as an example) and then the other was the following Monday and the third was the next Monday.

Then I remembered the time that the third of us fainted in the middle of the day and I moved out of the way, not because I wanted her to fall, but because I thought she was budging me to give her more space and then before I knew it she was falling to the floor and I couldn’t catch her.

I also remember being simultaneously concerned for her and annoyed because she was supposed to be my partner for this project that we were doing that day and because she needed medical attention that was not the case. I was 11, I was selfish and didn’t want to work with the person that I ended up being partnered with because I didn’t like her.

I remember that the second one of us was a bystander when some people from our larger group of ‘friends’ were also my bullies and she just kind of let it happen. I also remember having a crush on her friend, who I randomly bumped into last weekend and laughed to myself about it all on a train platform.

I remember how I found I got into secondary school that I wanted. Vividly. I remember how on the same day that I was shopping for my new school uniform my period also started for the first time and that felt like some kind of sign that change was coming (and was also kinda horrifying because sex education suggested I still had a couple of years before that would happen, but nope).

I remember my first day of secondary school and I remember on a rainy day in primary school one of the people in my class threw a chair across the room at the teacher and another time the whole class made a substitute teacher cry and the majority of the class was basically put on lockdown with the exception of 6 people (yes, I was one of the 6).

I remember crying in Year 9 because I was being moved to a different maths class that wasn’t quite the bottom tier but meant that I was taken out of the top tier meaning that I wasn’t quite smart enough to stay in that one but also wasn’t so bad that I needed to be removed from their completely. I remember the joy when I was moved back up. I remember being in Year 12 and walking down the corridor when my GCSE maths teacher felt the need to tell me that it might be worth getting a remark on my GCSE paper because I was one mark off an A and I was kind of annoyed that I know possessed that information because I was fine with the B. But I was also kind of amazed that I managed to do that.

I remember the confusion of A Level results day because I couldn’t get onto UCAS but I did then get an email from my uni saying congratulations meaning that I stopped faffing about with a website that somehow never seems prepared for the onslaught of students that are looking to find their fate and I went to collect my results knowing that it was all going to be okay, but then being hella surprised that in actual fact that I didn’t actually get the grades (and I got an A in the subject that I didn’t expect to) but it didn’t matter because I knew I was in.

I remember the hellish journey to uni for the first time and how I spent most of it terrified because I was moving out for the first time and I was going to miles away from what was comfortable and also I am not good with new people or situations or life changing events in general.

I could not however tell you anything that I learnt throughout the majority of my school life. Actually that’s a lie, I have a shit ton of knowledge about Nazi Germany and I know so much random shit about the fall of the Russian Empire and it gave me my love of Shakespeare which crept up on me.

There are elements of sociology that creep into the way I talk about things and the way that I relate to things. And my English degree has forever changed the way that I read literature whether I truly acknowledge that or not.

I don’t even really know what prompted me to go down this strange trip down memory lane. I guess it was properly because I just had a birthday and it felt like a big one and I’m still taking stock of shit and then I went on this tangent about memories and stuff.

Anyway, I’m done with that now.

Parentheses count: 3. See you tomorrow!

 

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fitness, My Life

Changed for the Better?

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I got home the other night from the gym and whilst I was still slightly sticky with sweat and dressed in my leggings and sports bra, with my well worn (not too well worn) trainers on I realised something I ordered on a Sunday had arrived (this was on a Tuesday night).

I opened it excitedly and realised that I had two parents watching me wondering what the hell had got me so excited.

The package was from Free Soul. It was primarily bought for protein powder (vegan obviously, I’m serious about trying new ones beyond my reliable Neat Nutrition) but there was some other stuff in there as well. Other health stuff. Think Wake and Sleepy teas and Vitamins. And a steel shaker, which was also a pull when I chose to buy a bundle and not just the protein powder because it’s so slick that I fell a little bit in love with it.

Anyway, I opened the package (removed the free t-shirt) and then started brandishing my new long handled pink scoop with joy and when asked what was in it I replied ‘just protein powder and stuff’ and my mum said ‘that’s why you’re so excited, what’s happened to you?’ I didn’t say anything and just studied the contents of the vitamins in there to see if it would mess with what I already take and also because sarcasm would be the only way that I would respond.

But it got me thinking about change.

And how people accept or don’t accept change I guess.

It’s not the first time she’s made a comment like that this year as I delved into a quinoa, feta and avocado salad, only in that case she tacked on ‘although you did it a whole thing of chocolate fingers last night so I know my daughter is still here somewhere’ and I let that slide too. Because I don’t know how to respond to it.

It seems counter productive to something.

I don’t know to what, but on some level it just does.

It feels like I’m being held to a version of myself that was ultimately not necessarily 100% dealing with things very well and who had a really bad sweet tooth.

Yes, I ate a whole packet of chocolate fingers, but I felt like shit afterwards and kind of wished I hadn’t and eating the quinoa salad after some solid cardio felt good. I’ve been making small changes to my diet here and there and when I was on that low sugar thing it changed the way that my body reacted to it. I no longer have it in me to eat a whole back of to share M&Ms or a pack of chocolate digestives. I had a huge stack of pancakes yesterday and the sugar rush was real, it honestly almost made me feel sick (but worth it) and I felt kind of off for a little bit and then crashed in a way that I’ve kind of forgotten could actually happen to a person. And I’m not mad about it.

I’ve recently had to almost force, that’s a strong word, but it kind of goes against a large part of my mindset, myself to eat a bit more because with my increased level of exercise it meant that I was in a calorie deficit which I cannot afford to be in because I have no weight to lose on me. And I kind of also want to build muscle, and with that comes more food. And so basically I think about when I’m gonna eat next a lot right now. And it’s making a difference. It’s making me think more about the food that I am actually eating and the way that it’s gonna either fuel my workout or is gonna fuel me afterwards.

And a part of that is to do with protein powder. I currently work out 4 times a week (because that fifth one is a weight session and my wrists are taking it turn to be a bitch) and within half an hour I’ve necked a protein shake. So yeah, I’m gonna get excited when I’ve found a new one to try because I drink the thing so damn much and well it’s nice for it to be somewhat decent tasting.

And I’m not going to apologise for making the kind of changes in my life where I start to give a shit about protein powder. And I’m going to go back to the low sugar thing. And I’m going to get into a proper foam rolling routine because my legs are so heavy all the damn time these days. And I’m going to finally get back into Pilates because seriously I dropped into a crouch and the release in my hips was insane, plus I love me the stretch part at the end of each class and that’s kind of what Pilates is (also, it’s really not, that shit hurts and the burn is real).

And yeah I’m going to keep on changing. Because what the fuck is wrong with that? Me now is waayyyyyyy happier than I was 18 months ago even though my anxiety has also never been worse. It’s a balancing act. But whatever, it is what it is.

Parentheses count: 4. See you tomorrow!

 

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