Say something, I’m giving up on you.
Kate packed up the last of her shirts and squashed it into her suitcase. She flipped the top down and forced the zip around and then she slid the suitcase off the bed and let it thud heavily on the floor. Once it was stood vertically Kate took a deep breath, went out into the living room and looked at her boyfriend lying on the sofa snoring slightly. On the floor around him was a pizza box full of half eaten crusts and crushed empty cans of beer. The TV flickered on a pause screen for a game that Kate had long forgotten the name of. His clothes hung haphazardly off a chair in the corner of the room and the back of the sofa. The window in the room was opened wide and sending a harsh autumn wind through the room, swirling the heavy fabric of the curtains framing the window viciously into the room and knocking the trinkets on the windowsill. Kate didn’t have to walk over to the thermostat to know that the heating was on full. She rolled her eyes and walked over to the window, slamming it shut. The glass shook slightly and a picture frame fell forward cracking on impact with the windowsill. Kate groaned quietly out of frustration while her boyfriend just shifted slightly and rolled over.
Kate picked up the picture and traced a finger along the crack in the glass. It was a photo of the two of them cuddling each other, Kate cocooned by his body, sitting on a hill and silhouetted by the pinkish hues of sunset. It wasn’t the most overtly personable picture of them, but it was something intimate. It was a picture of a time when they were truly happy. When every cliché of love being a wonderful thing made sense.
It hurt Kate to look at it now.
She put it back down on the windowsill, flat so as not to have to look at it. She turned back to look at the room as a whole and sighed before going about cleaning up his mess. She threw the crusts into the too full bin that he still hadn’t gotten around to taking out despite promising to do so three days ago. She dropped the beer cans and the pizza box into the recycling on top of four similar boxes from his late night snacks.
They’re not so much late night snacks and more his dinner as he continues to work anti-social hours and come home to play his games and fall asleep on the sofa slightly drunk and never remembering to check whether the apartment was locked up. It was a cycle that had been going on for months. A cycle that had seen Kate relegated to little more than someone who cleaned up after him and hoped they hadn’t been robbed while he snored away on the sofa.
Gone were the little moments and gestures shared between the two that provided comfort and happiness. Instead it had been replaced with returning to a too hot apartment and eating dinner alone. Waking up to a too cold apartment, still alone. And finally Kate couldn’t take it anymore. She couldn’t connect her actual reality with what she had imagined her reality would be five years into a relationship. She had imagined that they would be more than just two people who happened to inhabit the same living space. She had tried talking to him, but he was always distracted by his phone, or his laptop, or his stupid game. Kate felt like she had no other option but to leave to make him finally hear her discontent. She knew rationally it wasn’t the smartest thing to do, but she was done being rational.
Once the living room was in a tidier state than he left it, she went back to the bedroom and wheeled her suitcase over to the front door. The wheels got caught slightly in the door frame and made a slight smacking sound, enough to wake him up. He looked over at Kate confusedly and raised an eyebrow.
‘Where are you going hon?’ Kate took a deep breath and looked at him.
‘I’m leaving.’ Kate’s voice broke on the last syllable.
‘Just leaving.’ Kate put her keys in the bowl by the door and took one last look at him.
He was still looking at her with a confused look before nodding his head slowly as he fell back down out of sight. Kate rolled her eyes and sniffed before opening the door and leaving. Kate stood in the hallway and cried silently with her face in her hand.
Inside the apartment he started and hurriedly climbed over the back of the sofa when he heard the door softly click shut and over to the bowl where he noticed the keys. All her keys. He leant his forehead against the front door and closed his eyes, breathing deeply to stop the tears.
Kate heard the gentle thud of his head hitting the door and turned around to mirror his position. She closed her eyes and wished.
Say something, I’m giving up on you.
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