Hi, Hey, Hello!
I came across this post on my reader and was really struck by it as a post because they seemed like really interesting questions to reflect and think about. It was fun to get a bit nostalgic and reflection is a great way to get to know a person I feel so here it is:
The place where you feel happiest or safest
Does saying Starbucks sound absurd? I mean there are other places but they also kind of come attached to other things. All I know is that the last time I had an argument at home I plugged in my iPod and then found myself walking into Starbucks and instantly I was calmed down. It’s this little bubble that is a) THE perfect place for people watching which I cannot help but do and b) comes with coffee in these perfect sized mugs (I am so particular about mugs, so for me they are perfect). It’s also this place that comes free from distractions because the TV doesn’t exist and the internet isn’t a distraction either. I can just exist within the world that I am either reading or writing with my coffee clutched to my chest and music filling my ears. So to get that time completely to myself for a few hours (as often as my budget allows) and recharge to get ready for the rest of the world again makes me happy.
An antiquated item
The one thing that has stood the test of time throughout the most of my life has been this bear that was very imaginatively named Big Bear. I also used to share him with my brother, but he was allergic so I claimed him for my own. I also really do not know why is called Big Bear because we have both always been bigger than the bear. It didn’t make the trip up North with me, but it always has a place on my bed at home. Currently it resides at the end of my bed hugging one of my Animal cushions real tight. (It has also one more than one occasion scared me when I was half asleep)
A food that reminds you of your youth
So I didn’t realise this was a thing to me until sometimes through my first year of uni where I found myself feeling a bit off for whatever reason. I found myself in Tesco throwing pesto and bacon into my basket and it became subconsciously apparent to me that what I was going to be making for my dinner that night was pesto (always the green one fyi) pasta with bacon and the ‘adult’ addition of avocado. It is the meal that is very much wrapped in my childhood and was the perfect cure to the homesickness feeling that I sometimes found myself feeling when I was away at uni, and now well it’s just my easy go-to comfort food meal.
What you thought you were going to be when you grew up
Kid me was very unambitious. Heck even adult me is still roaming around with all these dreams that I am a) scared to say aloud and b) overwhelmed at even beginning to tackle them. The point is, I didn’t actually know what I wanted to be when I grew up. Nor did I think I was going to be anything. Maybe 5 year old me thought that being Pocahontas was a viable career choice, I learned very quickly that it wasn’t. That is honestly the most thought I ever put into it.
Your biggest fear
Failure. I may have mentioned it before, but failure. So many things in the past (and to an extent even now) I haven’t done out of fear of failing. The overwhelming sense that I am not good enough to be able to do something and therefore won’t be good at it. Every exam season I would stress myself out because I was scared of failing the exam and therefore messing up my whole degree. I have failed one exam in my life completely and it crippled me so much that I didn’t even acknowledge that the three other exam results that I also received on AS Level results day were all good. I kept myself up at night the day before exam results were sent out at uni because I knew what I needed and I was terrified of failing and setting myself even further back. Cold sweats, clammy hands, they make up a great part of my life because failing is the one thing I can’t cope with, but also the thing in life that is almost kind of a guarantee. So good fear to have…
One more post to close out the fortnight coming on Sunday!
(Oh yeah, parentheses count: 6)
Find me here: