Hi, Hey, Hello!
Back to the early-ish days today.
‘Hey have I ever told you what my mum does for a living.’ Ryan asked quietly among the noise of the TV.
‘You said she worked in education.’ Lizzy replied, dragging her eyes away from the screen to look at his profile.
‘Yeah, specifically sex education.’ He responded bluntly, keeping a blurred focus on the screen.
‘Oh? And how does she find that?’ She turned and curled up so her whole body was facing his.
‘I dunno. She enjoys it on the whole I guess.’
‘Why have you brought this up?’
‘Because this morning I saw her and she reminded me that honesty is important in relationships.’ His eyes flicked over to Lizzy’s face and then back on the screen.
‘As in sexual history honesty?’ She suggested bluntly.
‘Yeah that’s what she was getting at.’
‘Oh god, I didn’t think this was a thing people did. Like I know you should but the idea of doing it just sounds so weird.’ She buried her head in the crook of her elbow and groaned.
‘I mean we only have to have the conversation if we think this is heading to sex.’ He turned his head to look at her squarely.
‘Is it?’ Her question was muffled in the skin of her elbow.
‘I guess I’d like it to…’ He trailed off nervously.
‘So we have to have the conversation then.’
‘No time like the present.’ She shrugged and lifted her head up as Ryan’s gaze dropped to his lap, where his hands were wringing together.
‘Okay, well first things first I’m, like, clean and everything. I’ve had one serious girlfriend, we were together nearly two years but um, my job took its toll on the relationship. There were a lot of lies and stuff being said and it got tiring being in a continual cycle of her accusing me and me denying things and it turned pretty toxic. So that ended. And contrary to popular belief since then I’ve only had sex with 7 other people. So that’s me.’ There was a brief silence as Lizzy stared at a frayed edge of the cushion next to her.
‘Oh right, okay, my turn. Clean also, couple of scares but clean nonetheless. One semi-serious boyfriend, but it was only like 6 months or something, but he was my first and everything seemed more intense. So him breaking up with me kind of umm broke me a bit really. The break up came early into my uni life, and that’s when things get…hazy.’
‘Meaning?’ She raised her gaze and looked at the area just below Ryan’s eyes.
‘Meaning I can’t give you a neat little number like 8.’ The bite in her voice startled Ryan slightly.
‘Okay then.’ He said definitely.
‘Well you’re taking that better than I thought.’ Her eyes moved up and looked with his.
‘Why would I care that you can’t give me a number?’
‘Because it’s kinda slutty. You’re kinda dating a slut.’ She mumbled looking down at her own leg.
‘Bullshit. So you’ve had a lot of sex. So what? I’m guessing it was all safe and consensual.’ Lizzy nodded. ‘Mostly safe, always consensual.’
‘Then it’s really not that big a deal. And look we just had the conversation.’ He smiled broadly and one tugged at the corners of Lizzy’s mouth.
‘I guess we did. Yay to our future sex life. We done talking about this?’
‘Why are you embarrassed?’ Ryan joked, nudging her shoulder with his finger.
‘Do you know you’re ridiculously attractive?’ She said suddenly, looking at his face properly.
‘Uhhh I’ve been told I am attractive to some.’ He stuttered as his brows furrowed marginally.
‘No come on! You know you’re good looking right?’ She stated.
‘I guess, yeah.’ He shrugged, his frown embedding deeper on his face.
‘Okay, my reason for bringing that up is that it’s kind of hard to, like, keep my hands to myself the longer I’m around you. And I don’t even mean in like a sex way. I don’t really know how I mean it and this probably makes no sense, but no I wasn’t embarrassed, just the more you talk about you in a sex situation, even in the most basic and unsexy way possible, the more you create a situation for me.’
‘Oh.’ His face relaxed and his mouth fell open in a small ‘o’.
‘Yeah, “oh”.’ She nodded as his face changed into something of realisation.
‘Hey, you have a tattoo right?’
‘Uh yeah, on my ribcage, why?’
‘That neon dress you were wearing the other day indicated as such. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what it is and how sensitive it would be if I ran my tongue along it. And my mum has always stressed the importance of being honest about sexual history, so her bringing it up today was nicely coincidental, and it was when I was sitting there at the inaugural meeting of all our friends picturing what it, the tattoo I mean, would look like as you were gasping for breath when my head was inbetween your legs that I realised we needed to have some kind of conversation. So maybe mine is in a sex way, but I’m right there with you, I think.’ He trailed off and looked back at the TV screen sheepishly.
‘It’s a butterfly.’ She whispered in response wide eyed and staring at his profile.
‘I love butterflies.’ He muttered.
‘Yeah, so I’ve heard…wait, no,’ she stammered, ‘I didn’t like get this tattoo because of you or anything. So don’t freak out it seemed like a good idea when I was 18. It’s been there for like nearly 3 years.’
‘I didn’t think that, but cool.’ He smirked.
‘Right that’s done then?’
‘Yep,’ he nodded, ‘do I need to rewind this or are you good?’
‘Rewind please.’ Lizzy dragged her eyes from the curve of his jaw back at the screen with a smile.
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