Hi, Hey, Hello!
I wrote this a while ago because it actually kept me up one night back in January, to the point where I opened Evernote up on my phone and wrote the whole thing down in around 5 minutes, then fell asleep quite easily afterwards. I have no idea whether I ever intended to do something else with this, like give it context, my brain at 4am wasn’t so kind as to give me a direction for it, but I think I am just going to leave it as a stand alone little thing. I run the risk of my set up for this piece being longer than the actual thing itself so I’m gonna stop rambling now and just get on with it.
Because life on the silver screen makes you think that it isn’t a break up if there isn’t screaming because someone cheated or because it changed to long distance and the sudden lack of real sex sucks, even though you were convinced you wouldn’t let that change you. It doesn’t prepare you for the harsh reality that sometimes you just wake up one day and the person you’re lying next to just doesn’t love you anymore. there is no big fight or hot, angry break up sex, there is just nothing. Nothing but knowing that not long ago someone felt so passionately for you that the idea of never being a unit with them was alien to you and not it’s your reality.
Because for a split second them being void of any emotion doesn’t cut it for you and you wish that you could get you big blow out break up that rattles the neighbours and leaves you oozing hatred and rage. Because at least then your break up seems valid. Of course this way hurts, it hurts because the relationship meant something to you in your core. It indirectly consumed you’re every pore and there was no scenario in your head that envisioned its termination coming from something as severe as a lack of love. There is no way to deal with this normally because it seems so abnormal. You can’t assess the pros and cons of staying together because once there is a black hole where love used to be there is no relationship. And it sucks, but it happens.
So you mope and cry and feel and then you get on with your life. Because you existed before them and you were your own person with them and you will be fine without them. Maybe even better than fine.
Parentheses count: 0. See you on Sunday!
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