Stream

Hi, Hey, Hello!

So I decided to do something a little different today in an attempt to get me out of some kind of rut (I got no where near to completing Camp NaNo last month and the reason for no book review posts is that I just hit a wall with reading and got into a right slump with it all). Basically I used the bare bones of a character outline that I have for one of my Camp projects, set a timer for 15 minutes and then wrote. Which was either a great or a terrible idea, one thing I know for certain is that this unedited (much to my horror, but ruts need to be clawed out of sometimes and that seems like a good way to go with this…). Anyway, enough pre-rambling and onto the actual thing I am talking about:

There is something intriguing about life above all of this. There are vessels that push though our home and leave a mark, no matter how small. We know they have been there. Then there are the times when the elders decide that some people need to be taught a lesson. Create a tale, a myth, a rumour. Something that will make people talk, make people fear what is out in the unknown. Because we are still somehow a part of that. The unknown. The things that exist only in the minds of those with imaginations that dare to dream that big. Dare to acknowledge in the same way that there has to be something outside of this world that there has to be things that exists in depths that are yet uncharted.

I have yet to meet anybody with that belief. Although it’s hard to meet anybody in the situation in which we encounter. They are usually all too dazed to pay attention to us, desperate for some kind of affection because it’s all they can think about. All we let them think about. We create a world where they only want us and we only really want their life force. I’m not going to pretend that I don’t enjoy that part, because honestly there is a sort of beauty in the violence but I want more than that. I want sand between the toes that I don’t have and sun on my bare face. I want to blend in with crowds of people that are all different from one another but hold one thing that makes them similar. They’re human.

They’re not us. And as far as we are aware they don’t know that we exist, but we know they do. And that fascinates me in a way that the elders don’t understand yet. They are willing to let me explore in a way that I am grateful for should I be willing to, but I know that will come at a cost. And I don’t know if that cost is worth the blind curiosity that I seem to possess about that world. But they come invade out home and seek out answers for things, so why can’t I do the same? Why can’t I exist in a way that is less violent then the way they come into my life? Some are nicer about it than others but they almost always have what’s coming for them, they think they can use us for personal gain and we don’t play that game. We’re not designed to play that game, and I want to know why they are apparently designed to play the destruction game?

We may remain a myth, but we have a problem now. I made a mistake and I need to fix it. Maybe that’s why I am more serious about taking up the elders on their offer to change me and ignoring my sister’s pleas that I don’t because it will ruin a part of what makes me me. I need to fix the problem before word spreads and the myth and rumour that surrounds us takes on a more realistic tinge. Becomes something that people actually believe.

Because then we are nothing. Or in more danger. Or something. I don’t know what, but there is fear there. I messed up and didn’t carry through with something that is easier to me than swimming and I don’t know why, but I need to fix it. Now.

So I can finally feel the sand and the sun.

It was harder to stop at 15 minutes than I thought it would be, I got into a rhythm with it. This was fun, I enjoyed it. I might do it again when I get back into one of these moods. Thanks for reading.

Parentheses count: 2. See you on Wednesday!

sign off 2


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