Letters to Autumn 14

Dear Autumn,

My creativity has taken a hit again.

Kind of.

I don’t know, it’s still there in the back of my mind. It’s still niggling away and dropping random ideas into my life and then running away and leaving me to do something with them.

The problem is that I am not doing anything with them…because I sleep instead.

I mean I write stuff down on a notes app on my phone if the idea is particularly persistent, but when I remember that they are even on my phone they make no sense.

They are the thoughts of my 2am (or whatever) half asleep mind. I used to be able to think clearly at that time. But not anymore. Not really anyway.

So now they consist of half formed ideas and broken sentences that I have almost no hope of figuring out.

Sometimes, and by sometimes I mean rarely, I can piece together whatever the hell was going at the time of the thought and then do something with it. Most of the time I just stare at it in confusion and then leave it to just gather dust (I know something electronic can’t get dusty, just go with it).

And then I add to the list at some other time in the early hours of the morning and repeat the cycle.

So it feels like my creativity has taken a hit because nothing seems to really happen when I’m fully coherent anymore. Like my brain hasn’t quite caught up with the fact that I’m supposed to be asleep these days at 3am (and honestly it probably never will) because I have to be awake before the sun now (thanks for bringing that with you by the way…) so it keeps on churning out ideas that just fade away while I’m burrowed under a duvet.

I’m probably not gonna fix that problem overnight (no pun intended) so I should probably get better at writing better notes to self.

sign off 2

(Parentheses count: 5)


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