This is the third time I have started this letter.
The other two made it to nearly 100 words a piece and then I highlighted it all and then promptly pushed backspace, thus leaving me with only the words ‘Dear Autumn’. For some reason I can’t think of anything to say. Or everything I say seems like utter shite by the time I have got it down into sentences.
The words on the page don’t look right and they are not forming sentences in the way that I want them to. What is making it’s way into type is not what I am trying to say in my head, which is weird because I don’t usually experience that problem with my thoughts.
Dialogue and trying to get characters from A to B? Yes. Definitely.In fact that rarely goes the way that I want it to. But what is actually going on in my head, no matter how seemingly incoherent, I cam usually get it to do what I want when I’m writing it down.
But not today (or yesterday actually). It all seemed to get muddled up and caught in itself (and also cut together with lyrics from the Hamilton soundtrack, but that’s not important) whenever I tried to make sense of it all and I never quite got there.
Although maybe I did because this letter now exists, even though I don’t think it said all that much in the end. It just proved that I am good at making words look like they are going somewhere when in actual fact they kind of haven’t…
Signing off now, I’ll see you tomorrow.
(Parentheses count: 3)
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