Creative Writing, My Writing, Snapshot Series, writing

Snapshot 40a

Hi, Hey, Hello!

I got bored one day at like 11pm one day in JULY apparently (that’s what the date in my notebook says) and decided to tell the story of Lizzy and Ryan in short articles that all come from the same gossip site because it sounded like a fun (and cathartic) idea at the time and also meant that I didn’t have to characterise them all that much more which was useful given the time I started writing it. It got lengthy, which is to be expected when you decide over a decade is the time frame you are going for and you’re touching in on the random events that you created from a different perspective. It is also as I am writing this post up, still unfinished, which probably has to do with the fact that at the time it would have involved me making new drama or something up and I was already scraping the bottom of the barrel then. But I can come at it with a new set of eyes and get the gaps and massive time jumps (I think I completely ignored a solid 3/4 years in total when I looked through it in preparation for a massive edit) filled in and make the number in this series ever bigger.

I’m done talking now.

Ryan Haines, from the band Sign to Sign, is officially back on the market.

After months of speculation that his relationship was on the rocks with girlfriend Becca Tailbrook we finally have confirmation that the pair are no more.

Yesterday in an interview Ryan’s fellow bandmate Zach Lydon mentioned in passing that all 3 of them were single. The development doesn’t really come as a surprise to us over at HQ as the rumours surrounding this particular couple have been flowing almost daily recently.

Ryan and Becca have thought to have been together since they were both 17 but the pressures of living differing and increasingly more distant lives has been thought to have taken its toll on both of them, Becca especially.

The break up comes two weeks before Sign to Sign head out on their first US tour. So that’s one less thing for Ryan to worry about.

*

Sign to Sign have been on their US tour for two weeks and that means it has been two weeks of band member Ryan Haines very publicly enjoying the single life.

He has spent the majority of his days, before performing to sold out arenas, in the company of several different women. Most recently he was spotted at his hotel with fellow bandmate Max and a whole host of girls. The two boy were frolicking in the pool and laughing almost continually with both one another and their female company.

His new antics follow the recent break up with his former girlfriend Becca Tailbrook after being together for several years. Clearly the loss of his childhood sweetheart hasn’t affected him all that much, in fact it almost looks like he as forgotten about her completely.

*

Given that Ryan Haines has spent the past few nights, heck the past few months, drunkenly falling out of clubs and into cabs with someone different each time, I’m sure you can understand the high level of confusion that circulated around the office this morning when he revealed live on national TV that he had a girlfriend.

A girlfriend of a year.

No word as to this ‘new’ girl is but she is clearly not the jealous type. Can’t say I would be too happy to see my boyfriend clinging on to other girls like his life depended on it on an almost nightly basis. 

So many questions are being asked in the office today. Who is she? How did they manage to keep their relationship a secret for so long? And finally, is there anyone that can tame Ryan Haines, because clearly a girlfriend doesn’t quite cut it?

*

Elizabeth.

We have a name for Ryan Haines’ new girlfriend and it is Elizabeth.

Yesterday Haines sent shockwaves through the entertainment world when he casually dropped the bombshell that he is no longer a bachelor. And he continued to surprise us because last night the couple made their first public appearance together.

On the Brits red carpet of all places.

Not one to make a fuss then…

Anyway Ryan threw us little bone last night when we got to interview the boys and told us her name was Elizabeth.

Elizabeth kept largely in the background the entire time they walked the red carpet but Ryan checked in with her every now and again and when we witnessed that we are not ashamed to admit that we audibly ‘awwwwed’. For her first major event on the arm of one of the biggest stars right now, we have to say she seemed to handle the situation very well.

Time will tell how long that lasts though, but for now we wish the couple well.

*

It would appear that since Ryan Haines uttered the phrase ‘I have a girlfriend’ that the floodgates have opened and he and his new girl are everywhere together now.

Yesterday afternoon Ryan was seen lurking around a library on the UCL campus and just when we started wondering whether he had sneakily decided to get an education on top of being a rockstar his girlfriend, Elizabeth, walked out in what could only be described as a daze.

So that’s one more thing we know about Ryan’s mystery new girlfriend. She’s still in school. We also know that Ryan has gentlemanly in him (yeah, we know, who knew?). Within minutes of their reunion Ryan took custody of Elizabeth’s laptop and the heavy looking rucksack that she lugged out the library with her.

The couple were then all smiles as they strolled the streets of London, stopping for coffee on the way and seemingly simply enjoying one another’s company. It’s a busy time for Ryan as he is currently in the middle of a promo tour for Sign to Sign’s new album and judging by the load that Elizabeth was carrying at the beginning of the excursion it was also proving to be a welcome break for her as well. Busy bees finding time for one another. How cute.

*

Maybe Elizabeth Cline is the jealous type after all. Thank god!

This morning she was seen leaving her boyfriend’s house (who’s Ryan Haines if you’ve been living under a rock for the last ten months) looking less than pleased. This comes after rumours surfaced, yet again, that Ryan has been led astray by model, and apparently new best friend, Madeline Vincent.

It’s not the first time Ryan has been linked to Vincent, in fact it’s the 7th time since he announced his relationship with Cline. Neither of the couple have commented on these continual rumours, but they have always seemed to put on a brave face and look happy as ever as they milled around London together.

Until this morning.

Cline left his house looking tired and run down in a well worn pair of jogging bottoms and an oversized t-shirt without a scrap of make-up on and lacklustre hair as she got straight in her car and drove off quickly. She was seen an hour later in a cafe with her brother looking in somewhat lighter spirits but still tired. There has been no sign of Ryan yet but the general consensus seems to be that the couple are no more. Poor her.

*

It seems like only yesterday (it was two weeks ago) that we were reporting for the hundredth time or so that the Ryan/Elizabeth relationship was hurtling over the finish line and yet today we learn that there might still be some life left in it. 

The couple have surfaced in Miami together in preparation for Sign to Sign resuming the US leg of their tour. Oh and they have revealed some new tattoos.

Complimentary tattoos.

Now it’s no secret that Ryan loves a trip to a tattoo parlour but up until now we had no idea that Elizabeth possessed more than the one tattoo that she revealed on Instagram a few weeks ago (maybe that caption wasn’t just a declaration of love for Shakespeare after all). In the picture posted to Instagram late last night we couldn’t help but notice the artwork the pair are sporting on their ribcages. Her a butterfly, him a caterpillar. Upon extensive comparison of the two inkings (it was a hard job) we could make out that both creatures hold similar patterning and are in almost the exact place.

So is this some kind of permanent symbol to their solidarity as a couple when everyone is telling them it will fail or something a bit more naive than that? Time will tell. 

*

Lizzy Maxwell.

The girl formerly know as Elizabeth Cline apparently has a new name, and it’s Lizzy Maxwell.

And she has a book deal.

Lizzy announced the news on her social media accounts just after she changed her handles to this new version of her name (for those who don’t know it was WordOverload with her name simply being Elizabeth).

Her boyfriend, Ryan Haines, was weirdly the first to address this huge change:

@Ryan_Haines: Calm down, she’s not having an identity crisis. It’s her actual name.

@Ryan_Haines: Do’t ask how it’s gone this long without that being public knowledge because we don’t know.

So I guess we have to ditch the Elizabeth now? And also wait to see what her book is about. Strange and exciting times in the office today.

*

Now call us skeptics all you want, but when we heard that Lizzy Maxwell (still not over it, can’t seem to shake the Elizabeth, I liked the Elizabeth) was writing a book we didn’t think it would be all that good. 

A classic case of its who you know.

So when a box of her fresh off the press books arrived at our gloomy offices we took them with a pinch of salt.

Only to be proved thoroughly wrong.

I sacrificed sleep for this book. I devoured it in all of 18 hours. And then text around the office to see if they were in the same boat as me. Most were. The majority of the following morning was spent discussing all the details of it and coming up with theories for where the series will go (thank god Lizzy confirmed that there will be more books!). We all became obsessed. Surprisingly obsessed. The obsession is still going on now and we finished the book 3 weeks ago. And now it is finally yours to read.

So if you’re looking for something to consume your weekend then go and get ‘Locker’.

*

Within 3 weeks of publication Lizzy Maxwell has secured herself a film deal.

Her first book stormed book charts everywhere and is going from strength to strength and last night she announced that she was now in the process of working on the screenplay. Which we are taking to mean she has a film deal, there has been no official announcement but I mean…come on. It’s happening. 

Ryan also chimed in on the ‘news’ on Twitter saying:

@Ryan_Haines: So proud of @MaxwellLiz, go ahead and smash it babe.

Now the only question is just how hands on is she going to be with the production, or will it begin and end with the screenplay.

*

Ryan Haines (well his band, but he is a part of that) has served up a reminder that in the power couple that is him and Lizzy Maxwell, he is the real star.

In the midst of the ‘Locker’ book hysteria it was easy to forget that Ryan was a star in his own right, until this morning where the band dropped their new video. And there is shirtlessness galore.

And some killer vocals. From all the boys, but Ryan’s voice truly shines. With it’s grit and this new growl thing that he has going on it’s a clear improvement on their last single. The whole package has proved to be very distracting today and he has reclaimed his spotlight.

 *

‘Locker’ has a cast now. 

Which is full of a beautiful bunch of people. Like seriously beautiful. And surprisingly diverse. With a cast like this all our expectations for this movie have crept up even more. And they were pretty high to begin with.

Filming started a few weeks ago and has been surprisingly closed as film sets go with not so much as a whisper as to the going ons or the cast of the film but now we have something. We also have the news that Lizzy is going to be an executive producer and that her disappearing act from London is because she is on location in Chicago right now with the film.

And here is the best part, Sign to Sign have just been announced as the artist for the official single for the film. Zack hinted that they are working in the studio on the song and have just started penning some lyrics for the film’s soundtrack.

It’s hard to tell where the power lies with this couple right now, what with them both being talked about on a daily basis right now for one thing or another. But long may they continue to reign.

*

What with them both crushing it in their careers it is easy to forget that Ryan Haines and Lizzy Maxwell are both a little bit like us.

As in they go to the shop wearing old clothes with massive spots on their face and get into intense discussions over broccoli (this is an actual thing that appeared to happen to them yesterday).

And they also have skeletons in their closets.

This time it’s Lizzy’s skeletons that have made an appearance, which is surprising given Ryan’s track record. Apparently Lizzy’s ex-boyfriend has made a (welcome) reappearance in her life and Ryan isn’t too happy about it. Guess he finally knows what that feeling feels like now.

Dylan (Lizzy’s brother, keep up) has also been said to be welcoming the ex’s return as he appears to be a lot more supportive of Lizzy’s creative endeavors because there is no risk of being outshone. 

Hence the apparent lack of effort for each other in the outside world and the random argument over fresh produce. Is this the final countdown…again?

*

Does anyone remember the last time that they saw Ryan and Lizzy together? 

We only ask because we just realised that we haven’t had to write about them in a while. I mean we saw Lizzy arrive at O’Hare airport two months ago and then we saw Ryan and his band arrive at LAX around about the same time and then nothing. From either of them.

Total radio silence.

The most we have seen from either of them is if they crop up in the background of other people’s pictures on the interweb. 

From what we gather ‘Locker’ has finished principal photography so Lizzy has no need to be in Chicago any more, but will she make the visit over to LA? Or will she return back to the Motherland and hole herself up some more? Away from her long term boyfriend. Don’t worry we’ll keep you updated.

*

The nation’s favourite power couple are still exactly that. A power couple. 

Take a glance down almost any book chart and you will see Lizzy hold’s the top 3 positions while her boyfriend’s band holds the top two on the Singles chart and the number 1 spot on the Album chart.

And the pair are both happily settled back in London after that weird few months where they seemed to do everything in their power to avoid being seen near each other. Distance makes the heart grow fonder and all that jazz. Or maybe they retreated to think of new ways to ruin us all.

Either way welcome back.

Parentheses count: 14. See you tomorrow!

sign off 2


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