Hi, Hey. Hello!
We have reached the end of yet another month and therefore I have reached the end of another little blog project over here at Keep Going. And it’s a nice simple prompt for the final day.
It’s almost like that word is this that is too scary say. Like saying makes it real. And that in itself is scary. Terrifying really. It’s like one of those things that happens to you without you really realising.
It’s this thing that demands to be acknowledged and other people demand to know about it and it’s all very overwhelming sometimes. There was pretty much nothing worse then people looking me dead in the eye and saying ‘what the hell are you going to do with an English degree?’, because what? why do you need to know that? I haven’t thought about that, why is that the only thing that you want to know. Ask me about the book I just blitz read and made a ton of annotations on in a week but please for the love of something do not ask me about the future.
I am not a planner, if that wasn’t obvious. Planning doesn’t come easy to me.
Being a planner seems to come with this element of writing things down. And writing things down has this ability of making things seem real. It’s fine to just think them and work on them quietly but putting them into words makes it seem like their is an element of failure if they don’t happen. Or if they change. Or whatever else might happen because life has a way of doing things that you don’t expect it to.
I much prefer to think small picture. Practically speaking it is way easier to think small picture. I mean that’s not to say that I don’t have an idea as to what I want because I do. But I am a realist to almost a painful extent so I can accept that the big picture is subject to huge amounts of change and that’s fine. No one knows that’s happening except me and that’s fine because hey it’s not gonna affect anyone but me. I can deal with the change, what I can’t deal with is people then holding me accountable for things that I have said.
So I work in the small picture. Little goals like finally not eating eggs (being in a cake does not count!) because it makes me feel ill, like cutting down on how many fizzy drink I drink, like taking the stairs (most of the time) instead of the lift at work, like drinking 2 litres of water a day (I actually started doing that years ago, but still it was a choice), like limiting myself to one coffee a day (let’s not talk about the fact that right now sometimes I am going in on 4 shots in one coffee okay…), like upping my fruit and veg intake (I have taken my eye off the ball with that one recently).
And other little things that I can work on and achieve. That are part of the future. My future at least. And also means that I can say the big bad word without being simultaneously terrified of it.
And on that note I sign off for Writing 101. It’s been fun.
Parentheses count: 5, all in the same paragraph, wow me. See you tomorrow!
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