Hi, Hey, Hello!
Day 2. Let’s do this shall we, 10 resolutions that I have for myself right now (that I am going to write in the 2nd person because apparently that is just easier for me).
1) Actually carry on editing that story and timeline it. The idea is right there, you know it is. Just keep swimming with it.
2) Try and cut down on the sugar thing. There are good days and there are days here you literally sustain yourself on sugar and that definitely needs to not be the case.
3) Start using your evenings in a more productive manner. Yes sometimes scrolling aimlessly through the internet for a few hours seems like the best option, but the next day somehow you always end up wondering why the fuck you wasted that time.
4) Create more. For some reason you’ve stopped doing that so much. Maybe it’s because of all the aimless hours on the internet.
5) Finish all the TV shows that you are currently watching before starting yet another new one. Seriously the list of half watched shows is long enough already, stop making it worse.
6) 4 times a week. Get to the gym 4 times a week. It doesn’t do anything to help with the insomnia thing no matter how many people try to tell you otherwise, but you can feel (and in certain lights even see) the difference that it is making. And it’s a good feeling to actually like your body again, it’s been a while.
7) Control your spending. Which should be easier now that August is over to be honest. That turned out to be an atypically expensive month.
8) Stick to the bullet journal. Get the thoughts the fuck out of your head and onto paper. You have always worked best when you’ve strung a sentence together and put it on a page. Having it stare back at you has always worked, why do you keep questioning whether it will.
9) Stop being so fucking scared of saying that you write out loud to people you know. It makes it seem like a dirty little secret and it’s the only thing that keeps you sane and also still allows you to exercise the muscles that you spent years curating with a love for English and a degree in it. Something that stops you going up the goddamn wall can never be a bad thing.
10) The anxiety won’t ever go anywhere, it has been established that that is a given. It’s always been there, you don’t remember who you are without it, however there are times where it is merely a footnote to your existence. Remember that when it gets bad. Really bad. But more importantly, let yourself feel it when it gets bad. Don’t beat yourself up about it because things had been fine for a bit, that makes it worse. Just breathe through it and know that you can get through it because so far you have made it to the other side every single time. Even when you thought you couldn’t. Just breathe and move through it.
Parentheses count: 2. See you tomorrow!
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