Creative Writing, My Writing, writing

If you were in a room with all of the people you once loved, and you were told to choose, whose arms would you end up in?

I don’t know why this would be a controversial thing to say.

Yes, I have my parents and my friends and my siblings and yes obviously I love them all very much, but it honestly would be a no brainer.

If I had to choose someone to be with in a room full of everyone I love or have loved then I would choose you. Without fail. Each and every single time. I would choose you.

And honestly, I don’t think anyone who knows me, and as a consequence you, would be surprised that that would be my decision.

Why wouldn’t I choose you?

You, the person who pushed and supported me through all the shit storm that was me trying to be what I am now. You were right there from day dot. And yes there were others there, others who had been there before you, but you were the first one who hadn’t grown up with me or known me for years that actually believed in me and what I wanted to do.

You, the person who who fought to find the perfect balance between it all and never stopped pushing and pushing to achieve everything that you wanted but still made sure that you remained, ya know, you.

You, who slotted right in place with the rest of the people that I care about most like it was nothing. Made my parents feel less terrified about what was going on with me because they knew that there was someone else in my corner, a safety net for when I was inevitably me and did something that wore myself too thin. Got along with my brother like a duck takes to water. Got along with all my friends, which is weird because they remain hugely dubious of anyone new who enters our lives after being jaded one too many times.

You, who whether you meant to or not, actually managed to get my sister and I back to a place where we actually liked each other for the first time in her lifetime. Who, indirectly, made us closer than ever and made the whole of our family closer as a consequence.

You, who always finds new ways to surprise me and honestly? Somehow manages to reveal new things of himself to me every single day. Somehow makes me fall in love with you a little bit more each day. Somehow who actually doesn’t make me cringe at the thought of being sappy because…well I don’t really know why but for some reason it doesn’t feel all that gross and bad for me.

You, who is one of the best things that has ever happened to me and was dropped into my life when I least expected it and at the time when I was least likely to do anything risky, but some reason I took a chance and now here we are.

You, who has given me a greater sense of home then anything that has before. I mean I’ve felt it before, but not in this way. It’s always pretty much been a building, one with my parents or my brother in it, but now it’s an actual feeling. It’s the feeling that I get when you wrap me up in a hug with your too long arms or when I hear your keys fall into the bowl by the door. It’s the smell of your cooking when I come through the front door after a long day. It’s being mildly annoyed at your towel on the floor, but secretly finding comfort in it because it means that you’re back. It’s waking up on the sofa in the middle of the night but being comfortable and wrapped up in a blanket because you know what I’m like and that’s easier than trying to get me to go to bed. It’s forgetting to buy more shampoo but never running out because you’ve somehow remembered. It’s hearing your voice that sounds super distant but it doesn’t matter it because hearing it enough. It’s the all too familiar parking garages of most London airports that I hate more than anything because they always suck, but love because it means that usually you’re going to bound into my car with your sleepy eyes and your deep voice and probably fall asleep again almost instantly, but you’re back and you’re home and everything is going to be fine.

So yeah, if I was in a room full of all the people I love and I had to choose one, it would be you.

Each and every single time. It would be you.

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