Letters to Autumn, My Life

Letters to Autumn: The 2016 Edition 19

Dear Autumn,

We have officially reached that time of the month where I have sort of run out of things to say about my life. Or at all. Well, no that seems kind of inaccurate I mean there are things going on in my life obviously, but they are kind of all the same or not necessarily worth talking about. So in some ways it feels like I have run out of things to say about my life, so here have a basic run down of my day.

I woke up this morning with my alarm which makes it 3 for 3 this week. I also woke up with a face full of duvet which made getting out of bed even harder than it already was. My train was very typically delayed and then I caffeinated before I ate today which meant that I spent ages feeling like I was on the edge of something terrible, like the brink of panic or something. And even when I tried to eat the very nature of my period these days means that my appetite was stolen from me and therefore nothing was all that appealing and every time I went to chew for longer than 5 seconds I instantly wanted to spit it back out again and crawl back under my duvet even further.

I had a salad mock me for the majority of the afternoon because, well the appetite thing just affected every aspect of my day up until the point the Nurofen kicked in and I got a bit of sugar in my system. Although having said that the salad mocked me because I have the best of intentions and being all ready, steady, glow about my life, but sometimes I just really want Texas BBQ Pringles (but will accept salted Popchips as a substitution) and a pizza and milk chocolate digestives and the odd avocado just so I can convince the ready, steady, glow part of me that it is being satisfied in some way…it’s not. At the moment. I’ll get back on the horse on Monday (and yes I said Monday, it’s psychological and I need that, sue me).

I’ve been somewhat randomly angry today. Or maybe annoyed might be a better word. There is a part of me right now that is like if you wanna pick a fight then I will take you up on that. And probably cry while doing so (side note, there is this one point in Pitch Perfect 2 where each and every single time I get a little bit teary eyed and emotional), but I’ll take you on. Basically everything for about a 6 hour period grated on me and then within about 30 minutes of closing my front door (and the Popchips helped) that soon disappeared, mainly because closing my front door held the promise of a really crispy pizza base and Great British Bake Off and that is always going to help elevate a somewhat shitty mood.

I also did a lot of walking today which helped to clear my head (not enough to give me ideas though), I seem to be back into reading again which is good because I am now 3 books behind schedule and the end of the year is fast approaching (shit) and Scrooge is firmly in place until further notice, please keep your baubles and snow dusted Christmas trees away from me  (can I hibernate until further notice so that I don’t have to do it).

I’m gonna try to do better tomorrow, but I make no promises. Here’s hoping my morning walk through the park to work tomorrow morning comes with inspiration for something…

Love,

main-sign-off


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