My Life

Here’s the Thing…

Hi, Hey, Hello!

I have had multiple ideas for a post like this for a while, but for whatever reason I have just never taken the time to sit down and write it, and well I ran out scheduled posts as of yesterday and so now seems like the time to write it.

My entire body right now is a good need of a serious stretch. It’s been a month (or so) since I’ve done a yoga class and that’s pretty much nothing but slow, gentle stretching and it feels soooo good. Sometimes the best part of any exercise class is the stretching at the end (and also it means that it’s over and I can stop almost crying…I’m joking, that doesn’t happen…but rarely can I feel my legs). And that is currently the extent of my stretching.

And I’m missing yoga…

I was going to go to a class last night but then Aunt Flo decided that what it really wanted was to give me lower back pain, make me really lethargic and a subtle kind of crampy that isn’t outright painful and annoying but enough to be an inconvenience to my day. And well the last thing I wanted to do was get sweaty and push myself through a vinyasa up into a downward dog. Something about me just wasn’t up for that.

And something about me has clearly changed because missing fucking yoga (those two words next to each other almost seem like an oxymoron) is a thing I do now. An actual thing that has happened to me since Easter.

And a thing that briefly led me to think that a 12 week Autumn/Winter clean eating ‘challenge’ would be a good idea.

It wasn’t. I followed the ‘rules’ of it for a 3 days and then realised that I had just quit sugar cold turkey, had upped my workouts, was pretty stressed out, was living on my own and always slightly paranoid that I hadn’t locked up properly, had cut out most of my usual carbs, was juicing in the mornings and in typical me fashion I wasn’t sleeping great (the fact that my house fucking creaks and sometimes didn’t help that) and basically I broke a little bit.

And then Wednesday came around and it was Bake Off night and it’s (or at least was) tradition in my house for their to be baked goods on Bake Off night (seriously, we (and by we I mean Mum and I) had to watch it on a Thursday and there were baked goods) and so I caved, because I figure it’s better to just go with things than deprive yourself of them . And holy shit those salted caramel brownie bites tasted sooooo good.

And then to be honest with you I really fell off the wagon that I had dragged myself onto. Not in a massive way. But I went to Filey and ate all the food (there was alcohol and tapas one night, so much food, so damn worth it) and then well I never really got back onto the wagon in the same way. Nor have I juiced/blitzed a damn thing since, because I can’t quite get it right (that is a serious thing actually, I need help with that because I bought the damn blender and I want to start using it again but I don’t eat bananas so I can’t use them to thicken anything and adding any kind of nut butter made it bitty and unpleasant to drink, so yeah suggestions please).

I’m still semi on the wagon. I mean for the most part I try to get to some kind of exercise class at least 4 times a week (5 if I’m feeling craazzzzyyyy…I rarely feel like that) and it’s fine. I mostly eat well enough. I’ve recently upped my veg intake because I can’t keep relying on avocados and I’ve actively tried to curb the whole sugar thing (she says after taking a break from writing this post to eat half a tub of ice cream…). I’ve started to enjoy cooking a tiny bit more and there is a part of me that really wants to get into baking (if only so I can curb my own random cake cravings at the drop of a hat).

I’m probably never going to get fully on the wagon because that almost sounds a) impossible and b) incredibly depressing. I’m sorry but I just prefer white rice, you cannot prise a burger and chips or pizza out of my hands and I’m sorry but ice cream is my happy place and I will not give that up. And cake, and peanut M&M’s and bread. All the bread. And fish and chip shop chips. And chicken and bacon sandwiches and honestly I could go on and on (I want all the food right now, it’s almost consuming me). The point, I think, is that I am fine with that.

Being semi on the wagon is more than I ever thought I would be. And I mean my lunch yesterday was pretty damn good and largely healthy and it’s winter so it’s soup season (and also currently Christmas sandwich season, but let’s not talk about that) and that somehow makes it easier. And I’ve upped my snack game and am probably gonna start eating breakfast more regularly again. And I eat a lot of protein and am slowly getting more toned as opposed to just shedding weight (thankfully, or there could be a whole other issue there) and am at a place where I can see improvement in terms of exercise ability on a week on week basis and that’s easier to do when semi on the wagon (and makes more sense).

But I’m not on it right now and that’s fine. Moderation and all that jazz. And I’m not gonna put much thought into the fact that I actually felt disappointed that I couldn’t go to a Be:Fit event next month because I already have plans and that I am missing the fact that I couldn’t go to my Reformer Pilates class tonight because my body has partially given up on me and I’d rather not potentially injure myself. But I am going to enjoy catching up on Westworld, eating my sausage casserole dinner and yeah there will probably be more ice cream. 

And then at some point in the next week finally just stretch it the fuck out.

Parentheses count: 12. See you tomorrow!

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