Christmas is on Sunday. What? That means that there are 2 weeks left of a year that feels like it has only just started. Also I only do a 2 day week at work this week, so I’m winning.
Back to my prompt of the day though: Do you share your real self online?
Short answer, no.
Not really anyway.
I mean like it is a version of myself obviously because it would be pointless for me to invest this much time on something and have it basically be pointless, but like there is definitely a barrier between things.
It’s a weird blurry area though because to an extent it’s easier to be a tad more ‘real’ online if only for the fact that once I push publish (or schedule) and it goes out into the internet I’m quite good at disconnecting from it all because I don’t know all the people that it’s going to read it and in my head that doesn’t really affect me. But then on the other hand I am still me and there is always going to be this barrier between the ‘real’ me and the one that exists in ‘social’ capacities as it were.
It kind of all comes down to a comfort thing.
In a lot of ways I am better with words than I am with actually having to be a vocal and so maintaining a blog means that in some ways I am better at and more comfortable in this space than in life because I can manipulate a sentence to do whatever the hell I like and I don’t have to do anything until I am perfectly happy with it. I can perfectly curate a version of myself and then let that do its thing.
Although that is a level of effort that on a daily basis would get exhausting and so to an extent there exists this semi-‘real’ version of me online that is super random and rather ranty, which is, yeah, pretty me. But I’m still holding back, because it’s smarter that.
I can count on one hand the amount of people that I am fully comfortable with and can quite happily just be totally me around, and there’s not a huge amount of difference between the two, but there is enough of a difference that I couldn’t say that the version of myself that I let exist on this blog is the same as the one that exists in life. And it’s not a bad thing, nor is it a thing that I am going to change any time soon.
Yes, this is a place that I can talk about things and am happy sharing elements of my life about, but for the sake of my sanity it’s seems almost foolish to allow that much of myself to exist on this blog. There has to be a disconnect between the two. This is is space that I created for myself to just get some things out and to try and cultivate some kind of creativity and I kind of want it to stay that way.
So, basically I have just gone for an age to say what I said at the very beginning. No, I don’t share my ‘real’ self online. I think I have touched upon this in a couple of other posts that I’ve written over the past few months and that’s not to say that I don’t share. But there is a line, that shifts slightly occasionally, that I have drawn in the sand that I won’t cross when it comes to this blog and to other social media channels that I have. Because not everything needs to be shared…
Parentheses count: 1. See you tomorrow!
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