Letters to Autumn, My Life

Letters to Autumn 14

Dear Autumn,

This week has gone by so damn quickly.

It seems like only yesterday I was stupidly going to bed at 1am only to be woken up in the dark 5 hours later to embark on a 5 hour train journey up north. The train journey was pleasant. It was smooth, it was better than the last time I did it where I ended up stuck in Doncaster for over 2 hours. I did some reading and managed to get halfway through my next book. I managed to do some tweaking of the project I’m working on. It was productive.

I’ve spent a lot of this week being productive.

My week has been filled of extremely lazy days where I do some writing in bed before showering and then doing some more writing or reading, breaking it up with by a walk along the beach for a bit and then eating allll the food for dinner. Before returning to do some more writing, reading or just falling into a YouTube vortex (where I just watched SNL videos all night).

And then all of a sudden it was the end of the week and while on the one hand I started to feel a little dejected at myself that there are things that I had wanted to do this week and haven’t done I do have to sit back and look at the things that I did do.

For one I disconnected and just refreshed myself which I needed so much. Secondly I ended up writing so many blog posts that I hadn’t anticipated writing because it just wasn’t on my radar. What was on my radar was my other project but when I looked at it on Monday morning there was just nothing there. And I wasn’t in a planning mood and so I did something sensible, for once, and didn’t try and force it. I refocused my energy and time on something that I could get in the headspace for, and as I mentioned the other day it will actually put me in a better place come November. So it’s a bonus.

Thirdly I got some reading done. So much reading. I took 3 books with me for the week and made my way through 2 pretty easily. I got to be immersed in new worlds and it felt a little bit fun to go stray away from that list that I created for myself at the beginning of the year. But not as nice as being in a place where I can actually see the end of my reading challenge as being in sight and not sounding so overwhelming.

There’s something about taking a break from your normal routine that seems to make everything move so quickly. It’s hard to explain and it’s a tad annoying because you kind of what it to feel like it’s lasting longer. It’s impressive how quickly you can fall back into your ‘normal’ routine and any time off that you took feels like a distant memory.

I’ll tell you what this year has taught, what with the fact that I’ve actually managed to take a whole 3 weeks off work now. It’s taught me that I should use the fucking holiday that I have because just working almost non-stop for an entire year is a terrible idea and will fuck with your mental health in a big way and cause you to totally shut down.

I don’t imagine I am going to hold on to this totally relaxed version of myself for very long come work on Monday morning, and everything else that comes with working life, but I am going to revel in the fact that this a state I can actually get to these days. I haven’t been able to disconnect like that for a long time.

Love,

main-sign-off


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