Letters to Autumn, My Life

Letters to Autumn 23

Dear Autumn,

I’ve been back to my regular life for a week now and in a manner that surprised nobody really, least of all me, I fell straight into a creative slump. As in I didn’t write anything for the entire week.

I mean I finished a letter that I was halfway through writing and then I opened this one and just didn’t look at it. It remained a completely blank page up until Saturday when I realised that I was running out of the cushion that I had so well created for myself last week.

I mean I did start something on Friday lunchtime because it was buzzing around in my head but it ran of steam very quickly because it was never really a fully formed being and like I said it was lunchtime and I had to actually get back to work. The stupid idea had already caused me to lunch at my desk which I kind of hate doing…but have done 3 times these week.

But other than that 200 or so words and a paragraph for a letter I wrote a fat load of nothing.

I kind of fell back into that bad habit that I complained about on some level earlier in the month. And I expected myself to fall back into this habit which is the worse part of it all. I knew that as I fell back into my normal routine after 5 days of relative laziness that there would be a huge adjustment period because I just wouldn’t have the energy to try and produce the way that I did last week. And I’m trying not to let the fact that I’ve done this get me down.

However, it has now left me in a position where I ideally I want to wrap some stuff up before the end of the month and I now only have a week to do that because I’ve just thrown last week away.

So this week is basically now going to be just writing up book reviews, getting back to my actual reading list for the year (because the number of books that I am ahead of schedule for has dwindled a little and it’s making me panicky…not really, but yeah) and starting to get a plan together for next month because I have that small task of trying to write 50,000 words in 30 days.

Damn, writing it down has really made it real. Better get to it.

Love,

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