The Did Not Finish

Hi, Hey, Hello!

Here’s the thing about me.

I hate not finishing books.

I think about it this a lot. I have especially thought about it a lot recently as I have read a couple of books that I kind of hated and kind of didn’t want to keep reading them but felt some weird sense of obligation to do so.

I really hate it.

I really hate not knowing how something concludes.

I have a very well documented love/hate relationship with endings. I am very hard to please when it comes to them. It never really feel like a book review in my head until I comment on the ending of it. Whether that is good or bad.

Because I need to know.

I need to have the closure that is given by the author when it comes to the ending. Whether I like it or not. I need to know how the author intended it to end and so I keep reading even though on some level it feels like it might take me forever.

I cannot be without that closure.

It’s the main reason why I am still low key convinced that I am going to finish Moby Dick and why there are always so many books that I didn’t finish whilst I was at uni because they remain unfinished and I hate that.

I mean I also hate Moby Dick but am I going to make a third (and maybe final) attempt to read it? Yes. Yes I am. And I will get to the end of it. My gosh, will I get to the end of it. Even if it takes me an entire year or some shit like that. I will get to the end of it. I need to know how it ends. I need to know.

I just need to know.

I always need to know. I hate not knowing. The unknown means that I create a bunch of other theories and that’s never good. It doesn’t satisfy me in the same way. Because it almost never happens in the way the author wanted and that just doesn’t sit right with me for some reason.

And so I will always try to finish a book.

Even it takes every once of my being to do so. I will almost give my blood to finish a damn book (not quite, that’s dramatic).

I will finish them.

It’s my thing. I kind of hate it, but I don’t hate trawling my way to the end of a book as much as I hate not finishing a book.

I do not DNF books ever.

I just can’t…it’s a problem.

Parentheses count: 2. See you tomorrow!

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Sophie, twenty-something, avid reader, writer, really good at watching whole seasons of TV shows in one weekend and using 10 words where 5 will do, overzealous user of the ellipsis and parentheses, starts too many sentences with ‘and’ and ‘so’, living in a continual state of Wanderlust.

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