One Year

Hi, Hey, Hello!

Over the past year I’ve spoken about my hair quite a bit because I decided to start giving a shit about it and my first haircut in 4/5 years at the beginning of March last year. And well we’re coming up to a year since then and my hair continues to make me feel some kind of way and that kind of way is now going to make it’s way into a post.

Firstly, it currently needs another trim so the ends of it are just being problematic because they are super broken and damaged and are kind of doing occasionally dodgy things to my hair. Look it’s nothing major, but over the past year I’ve gotten used to having healthy hair and so I notice shit like this acutely now. The problem is going to my hairdresser is a damn trek and I can’t be bothered (which is not actually the same issue that I had the last time, but yeah, it’s a new kind of problem).

Secondly I kind of forgot that what I had done to my hair is on some level considered a ‘big chop’. It kind of felt like not a lot of hair was cut off when it happened and I was so tired of dry, easily matted mess of hair that I also wasn’t all that attached to it so I didn’t really register that it was being cut off. But hair was down the middle of the back by the time I got it cut and then when that was over it fell just above my nipple. I had like 5/6 inches cut off.

In the past year it’s now at the base of my bra strap. Wet. Dry it remains around my shoulders. It has been around my shoulders the whole year. The wet length has changed. The dry one has not.

And there is a part of me that is finding it frustrating.

The reason that I didn’t get it cut for so long is because I wanted long hair and I knew cutting it would make it go out and highlight just how real shrinkage is. And I didn’t want that. But I also knew that if I wanted to get length with healthy hair then I kind of needed a reset. So that’s what I did.

And now I’m just frustrated (like I literally just mentioned). The problem is that I am not necessarily all that patient. When it comes to my hair. Or maybe I am but the main problem is that I’m bored with my hair.

It does very little.

I can wear it down and I can tie it up. Those are pretty  much my only options. I can put it in a bun, I can put it in space buns. I can kind of ponytail it, but I have to treat that as if I’m wearing it down and I always reach this danger point where once product has gone for curl definition I kind of can’t touch it until it’s mostly dry. Touching it tends to make it frizzy, so pulling it into a ponytail is a risky game. Oh, I did bunchies once whilst I was in Greece because it had dried all the way and we had just got back from somewhere and I was hot and needed to get it up but it was too big to make a decent looking ponytail and so I split it.

And currently the weather is so fucking grim and windy that the idea of actually putting effort into it sounds super unappealing. And so it currently just lives it’s live in a bun of some description because it’s just easier and I’m gonna level with you my hair is too thick for me to be bothered to want to contend with it to get it into some kind of braid. My arms get tired, my shoulders are too tight, I’m not very good at it and it never really looks all that good anyway because my hair is so damn thick it all just looks clunky.

So it does very little. It also doesn’t move. Seriously, once it’s dried when it’s down it cannot be moved. Which is annoying I can’t lie. It’s also boring. There is no flexibility and it means that I’m bored. I straightened it before Christmas and it felt kind of wild. It moved. It did what I wanted. I could do more than one thing with it. Some styles were finally possible and they sat right with no frizz. It also didn’t require being soaked through each day. It shook things up and then also made me feel so much more in love with my curls when they came back (all be it a tad heat damaged…).

But the novelty of getting the curls back wore off real quick and now I’m just bored. I’m bored of having shoulder length hair and I’m jealous of my hair when it’s wet. Because when it’s wet it’s everything that I want it to be and more. But that lasts for all of five minutes and then it’s anybody’s guess as to what is gonna happen.

And I know that the key to growing out curly hair can basically be summed up by the word patience. Which is actually something that I have. In most areas of my life.

But apparently it is wearing thin when it comes to this particular aspect of my life. I went a little bit down memory lane earlier this week and I found a bunch of pictures of when I had long hair. By the time I had it cut last year it was super long. It was unhealthy as hell, but it was long. That took 4 years to get to. So in theory it is possible that it can happen again. I don’t know what it’s actually going to look like should I ever get it to that length again with healthy hair, but I do know that it is possible.

But it’s the kind of long game that apparently I don’t currently want to take part in. Or I want to make it a super long game and cut all my hair off and then just start all over again.

I’ve reached that point with it all. I reach that point once or twice a year. I’m probably not gonna do it.

What I am going to do it get another hair cut next month and then keep on growing it out.

And I’m probably going to keep low key complaining about the fact that it’s still do damn short and shrinkage feels the need to mess with me. And also hate the fact that I once heard ‘it grows out before it grows down’ because apparently that shit is accurate.

Real accurate.

Parentheses count: 3. See you tomorrow!

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Sophie

Sophie, twenty-something, avid reader, writer, really good at watching whole seasons of TV shows in one weekend and using 10 words where 5 will do, overzealous user of the ellipsis and parentheses, starts too many sentences with ‘and’ and ‘so’, living in a continual state of Wanderlust.

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