Appreciate

Hi, Hey, Hello!

And so we have come to the final day of this little blogging project and all talk about self care. It’s been quite the whirlwind. It also kind of made me confront some things about myself that I hadn’t ever really thought about and in that way in some way was just a very good exercise in self care and reminding me to take care of my mental health a bit better. Because throughout this whole thing I have noticed that I have been letting it slip a little bit and I am trying to avoid what happened last year and get my shit kind of back together when it comes to my mental health.

However this little project has also taught me that the way that I deal with my mental health has gotten a lot better. It left me a really shitty place for a lot of last year and that has definitely stopped being the case. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still not really all that great and there are still days where it feels like a long hard slog up a mountain with the wrong kit on but those days seem to be happening far less than they used to.

For a while last year it was pretty much every single day from the moment I woke up to the moment that I feel into a really half assed sleep. It was constant and it was exhausting and I had to swim really fast just to keep the illusion that I was staying afloat alive when really I just wanted to quit and let the water take me for a little while.  But I am not there anymore.

Not even close really.

It’s kind of incredible how slowly my mindset has changed, so much so that to be honest I hadn’t even noticed it had happened until I started really thinking about it. It was only then that I could truly appreciate just how far I had come and just how much better my mindset is. I feel happier and more assured in myself in a lot of ways and I’m not embarrassed or ashamed by it. I feel a lot more confident in certain areas of my life. I’ve kind of learned to just let some water slide off my back and ignore it. Some things are just not worth engaging in and I’m finally okay with that. I’ve stopped being so in my own about certain things and am getting a lot better at remembering that honestly, some things just  aren’t that deep.

I know that there are still some areas where I do need to make some more improvements and I would quite like to know that the chances of me having to move through a small scale version of a panic attack in the toilet at work is not quite as high as it currently is. And I really need to manage my stress levels a little better, because they can soar real quickly and then I just feel even more exhausted by it all.

And I also know that right now I am in a better state of mind when it comes to the idea of dealing with the areas of my mental health that are still hella weak. Which I hadn’t really noticed or appreciated until I took part in this project for myself.

This has made me appreciate the state of my mental health in a way that I don’t give myself enough credit for.

That’s been my may take away from this actually. I really need to get better and giving myself more credit and to also appreciate the ones around me an awful lot more. That last one is just a general thing though, and I knew that before doing this project, it’s just really driven that home for me.

Parentheses count: 0. See you tomorrow!

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Sophie

Sophie, twenty-something, avid reader, writer, really good at watching whole seasons of TV shows in one weekend and using 10 words where 5 will do, overzealous user of the ellipsis and parentheses, starts too many sentences with ‘and’ and ‘so’, living in a continual state of Wanderlust.

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