Halfway There

Hi, Hey, Hello!

If someone wants to tell me how we’re bloody July already that would be greatly appreciated. Seriously.

Also June was a mess. I fully acknowledge that. Life got to me in a really big way and so I just kind of fell into some bad habits that I am trying to slowly break but might not be fully there yet. And speaking of which, we are at the halfway point for the year and so that means that we are do another one of these check ins. So let’s all find out together where I am at with this (because I will not lie, I have kind of forgotten what some of these even are anymore).

1) Learn how to fuck with eyeshadow

I am still pretty much hardly ever wearing make up. I live a very boring life and am hardly going out all that much. And now that we are in summer I imagine that I will be wearing make up even less because these past couple of weeks in London have just been straight sun and the sun loves to catch me and so I have now accidentally tanned out of all my base products and I don’t wear make up enough to justify buying new shades for the summer (and also they won’t even last because I will just keep tanning while the sun keeps shining)

2) Learn how to do a full pull up

I feel like on some level I have done some groundwork with this one that means that at some point if I really did actually try I could probably do one of these. But the problem is, again, I have really not even tried. Not even a bit. Who knows when I will actually attempt it..

3) Be able to a full push up

I’ve said this before and I will say it again. I have shit wrists. Also I am really quite tall and my legs are very heavy I have really learned these past couple of months (the heavy legs thing, not the height thing, I am very aware of my height). This makes some things feel like a mountain to climb. I have hardly even tried to do a full push up with decent range of motion since I last wrote one of these because I just know that I don’t have it in me. I barely have half ones in me right now.

4) Read 70 books

I’m at 33 now. Of 70. I am currently always at least a book behind schedule because War Storm took so damn long to read with its near 700 pages. I’m not too worried about it or anything because I know that there are some books in my list for the year that aren’t that long and so should take less than my standard week to read.

5) Lift heavier

Okay, so I broke this down a little in March and well we are now in the July that I mentioned in that very breakdown. So let’s assess it against that shall we. I am not at 20kg, 10/12kg and 15kg. Not yet anyway.

I am nearly at the 20kg. I’m at 17.5kg still. But I am getting deeper into my squats with it now and so currently that is what I am focusing on. I have only JUST gone up in chest/arms weight because it has continued to remain a blind spot for me and then one day I just realised that the only way that I was going to get the weight up is if I just have to put the weight up. And so I am suffering through the early stages of that right now. Everything else is still at 12.5kg because I am tired for those two final tracks and in this heat right now they have been particularly problematic for me because le sweat is real. Whoever decided that summer was a good time to strength train more and try and go up in weights was a real dumb person…

6) Eat more fruit and veg

I am coming off of a week where it was almost like I forgot what a vegetable was. And fruit. My fave fruits are in season right now and so in theory I should be eating them way more. But for some reason I keep forgetting they’re a thing. So this remains hit and miss and what is more annoying is that I know that I am being bad with it. So yeah, July goals are to try and actually live that summer fruit and veg life.

7) Cook More

The problem with this one is that my dad just does it automatically and I’m out of the house and get home later than everyone else and he always wants to make sure that I’m fed. It’s not a bad problem to have, but it just makes the motivation to do it myself almost non-existent.

8) Finish the damn book

I have not looked at this damn thing since I went back to work after my holiday. Towards the beginning of April. We are however in the early stages of Camp Nano and so I am hoping to get something to do with this accomplished this month. I’m not setting any kind of targets though because they stress me out and I then feel the pressure of them.

9) Write for half an hour a day

This is not happening. I mean I am writing for half an hour or more when I’m writing for this blog, but externally of that I am not that disciplined with that yet.

10) Get better organised

I so wanna say this has happened. But deep down we know that it hasn’t and that in itself is kind of embarrassing.

11) Get my Peak score to 800

This just hangs in the 830’s and I have missed more than I used to because once I lost my long ass streak I kind of lost a bit of my spark for it. I mean I still hit most days, but there are some when I just genuinely forget.

12) Meditate more

I meditated for the whole of May and then only once in June and so I am trying to get back to it again this month because I think it did a lot to the way that I handled my life overall and well I didn’t have any panic attacks in May and I had two in a week in June…

13) Save, save, save

Let me tell you a thing, I have money in my savings account that I actually forgot about. I was just walking into work one day and was like ‘wait, I don’t think I ever cancel that direct debit into my savings account’ and then when I checked, it turned out that I hadn’t and so there was money in there. That I am trying to leave in there. I am basically trying to forget it exists all over again.

14) Put more effort into blogging

Talking about this one seems really weird given that I kind of just stopped caring for most of June about this blog. It just became the last thing on my list of things to do (that isn’t a real list because, hello, I am not that organised) and so it kind of became something that I sort of stopped caring about for a bit. I haven’t reached peak apathy yet, and I don’t think I will, but yeah I defo need to get my mojo back for it.

15) The Masters

Right, this is defo not happening. I realised not that long ago that I have no desire to go back into education. It tore me to shreds by the time I left it and honestly, right now, I don’t think I’m strong enough to go back to it. And so for now, I am not.

Parentheses count: 3. See you tomorrow!


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Sophie, twenty-something, avid reader, writer, really good at watching whole seasons of TV shows in one weekend and using 10 words where 5 will do, overzealous user of the ellipsis and parentheses, starts too many sentences with ‘and’ and ‘so’, living in a continual state of Wanderlust.

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