Hi, Hey, Hello!
It’s the weekend! That’s all. Onto today’s first instalment which unexpectedly features some of my old friends.
‘In the eye of the hurricane there is quiet, for just a moment’
It’s odd Melanie thought, the sense of frantic calm that had settled over her since she heard the words uttered.
‘You’re 3 months pregnant’ was not something that she was expecting to hear when she went to the doctor’s that morning. It hadn’t even occurred to her that that was even a thing that could happen to her. Obviously she knew that it was possible in a general sense, she just didn’t think it was possible right now. In hindsight she knows that there were signs to alert her to the fact that something was off. The fact that she wasn’t having periods should have been the main one, but it was just a few she missed, nothing she hadn’t experienced before. If she got anywhere close to stressed then that was the first indicator. She had been stressed recently, things had been kind of hectic and she had moving at 100 miles an hour for weeks on end. Another sign probably should have been the morning sickness, but it hadn’t occurred to her that it had been slightly different recently because she was used to spending hours at the beginning of her day feeling nauseous. Anxiety did that to her, it was just a thing that she had adapted to after all these years. It had been a bit worse than usual, but she still wasn’t throwing up so she hadn’t really thought anything of it. She was a little snappier than usual but she put that down to the stress and the fact that she was kind of on her own for the first time in a while, not a sharp change in hormones. She had stopped putting her moods down to hormones years ago, sometimes she got annoyed and snappy, it wasn’t hormones it was being human.
Her main thought in the aftermath of hearing her doctor say those words was ‘shit’.
Shit that she was on her own. Shit that she was going to have to tell her now ex-boyfriend that she was 100% pregnant with his child. Shit that she was scared and unprepared. Shit, shit, shit, shit. Just so much shit.
She did the only thing that she could think of as she walked out of the building and called her best friend. Lizzy was always the best bet for when things seemed to be a little hectic or scary. She had always been there for her, even when they were fighting, she was there for her. She always answered the phone, always offered a shoulder to cry on, always knew what to say, always had the time for her, even when she wasn’t around she was around. But that didn’t stop the fear that had settled in the pit of Melanie’s stomach as she pulled up her best friend’s number.
This was uncharted territory for them. She didn’t have any sort of guidance on how to approach this situation. Lizzy wouldn’t falter with this information she knew that much but she did know Liz well enough to know that it would be hard for her on some level. It would be another shot fired at an already fragile shield. Melanie could sense how this would affect her, not openly by any means, but internally it had the potential to wreck her. Mel knew that it wouldn’t affect their relationship in the grand scheme of things, the two of them had been through worse over the years, but it would hit them somewhere.
Because there was still a part of Lizzy that was trying to process the information that it was unlikely that she was going to have children. And then there was Mel who hadn’t even noticed that she was pregnant and had gotten to such a state through a complete accident. Who was in no shape to even attempt to raise a child while her life was in such disarray. She was spiralling and panicking and she needed her best friend. And she hoped that it wouldn’t hurt her too much.
‘Hey Liz, you busy?’ She was tentative in her greeting once Lizzy picked up
‘For you, never. What up?’ Mel could hear her hands come to a stop over her keyboard.
‘Oh, well um. I just had a doctor’s appointment and I got a bit of news and I’m freaking out to be quite honest with you.’ She rushed out.
‘What, are you pregnant or something?’ Lizzy was joking, Mel knew she was joking and that made her admittance all the harder.
‘Yeah, that’s the one. The first one, not the or something.’ Silence. That probably only lasted a matter of seconds, but stretched for lightyears to Mel.
‘Wait, are you serious? How far?’
‘Of course I’m serious, why would I make that up Liz? And 3 months apparently.’
‘Is it his?’ She asked quietly.
‘Who? Lincoln? Yeah it’s his.’
‘Does he know?’
‘No, no one knows. Well I know, my doctor knows, you know.’
‘Are you going to tell him?’
‘Do you think I should?’ Mel asked scathingly.
‘You know what I think of him, but I also feel like he has a right to know, you know? I mean he was a large part of your life for a long time, this seems like the sort of thing he should know.’
‘Well that’s going to be a fun conversation.’ She muttered, mainly to herself.
‘I can go with you or whatever if you like. When you tell him. I’ll be there.’
‘Thanks. Liz what the hell am I going to do? How did this happen?’
‘Well Mel, when a man and a woman really like each other they bump uglies and sometimes babies are born.’ Lizzy joked.
‘We didn’t even really like each other when this happened.’
‘You liked each other at one point Mel. You lived together and everything.’
‘We didn’t by the end though. God am I gonna have to tell this child one day that its parents weren’t really fans of one another when it was conceived?’
‘No you’re bloody not Mel. Don’t be ridiculous. That’s never even gonna come up.’
‘But what if it does?’
‘You’re talking about something that isn’t even going to happen for several years. Cross that bridge when it presents itself. Focus on the now right now.’
‘Okay, what am I focusing on?’ Mel asked innocently.
‘Well you are with child Melanie. Focus on that.’
‘There is no but here, Mel. You’re pregnant. So stop drinking, stop stress smoking. Stop eating so much cheese and drinking so much coffee, start trying to sleep a bit more. Read a pregnancy book. Try to figure out a birthing plan. Think of where you’re going to put a baby in your flat. Tell work you’re expecting. Figure out maternity leave. Breathe.’
‘I can’t breathe. Liz, I am freaking out. I can’t have a baby. I’m not even looking after myself properly right now and you want me to have a child?’
‘I don’t want you to do anything right now, except calm down. Where are you?’ Lizzy spoke calmly and evenly.
‘Sat on a bench outside the doctor’s.’
‘Okay, stay there. I mean it, don’t move. We’re going to get you a hot chocolate and a plan. Or something. We’re gonna figure it out. It’s going to be fine Mel. It’s a baby, not the end of the world. Not really anyway. It’s going to be fine.’
‘I’ll believe it when I see it Liz.’
‘What, when you see your newborn baby?’
‘When I see proof that I’ve got this covered.’
‘You do have this covered. I believe in you Mel.’
‘Yeah I believe in myself too, but not with this.’ Mel admitted.
‘Well I need to change your mind about that one. Don’t move.’
‘I won’t, but be quick.’
‘I’ll be there in 10.’
‘See you soon.’
And there was Liz, Mel thinks happily, being the best friend a girl could ask for and pushing her own hurt away to be there and putting her mind at ease for a short period of time. A sense of calm in the madness.
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