Creative Writing,  My Writing

I’ve Got One

‘Okay, okay. I’ve got one. The guy in the corner, looking at his screen with great intensity.’

‘Well for one, he has forgotten his glasses or something. Or he doesn’t have them at all and he really needs to get some. That squinty thing cannot be good for him.’

‘Okay, but independent of his eye health…’

‘Not just his eye health.’

‘I know that, but still. Beyond the eyes. Go.’

‘Fine. He’s sad. Probably. Or annoyed. It’s at a level where he’s pretending that he’s fine though. He probably thinks everything that he texts in a really passive aggressive way but everyone reads them as if he was being super thoughtful and nice and shit. He grinds his teeth when he sleeps and probably has permanent tension running straight through his shoulders. He overdoes it at the gym with the weights, one out of fear that people are judging him for not lifting heavy enough and two because the pain he feels when straining his muscles is pretty much the only thing that seems to sufficiently let him release his anger into the universe but not at real people because he likes having friends.  He’s probably a mummy’s boy. Strived to be popular at school, but probably never succeeded the way that he wanted to. In fact a lot of his life is probably him being annoyed at himself because he isn’t doing something or other that he thinks he should. He’s his own worse enemy. Hence the anger I guess.’

‘Fair enough. Next one, the girl in the queue with the mermaid hair.’

‘Well for starters her hair is the fucking bomb. She’s confident. Or at least she knows how to fake that, because yes sometimes it starts with something as simple as hair dye. She’s happy about something, it just sort of radiates off her right now. Like how she can’t quite keep still, but it’s not out of boredom or impatience it’s like she’s excited for something. Or something exciting has just happened.’

‘There is no way that you can possible know that.’

‘Is that not the point of this game though?’

‘Touche. Carry on.’

‘So, she’s excited about something and she is  probably going to treat herself to something extra nice. Plus, she’s pretty happy with the fact that her time at the gym is done and well that deserves a reward in and of itself sometimes let’s be honest. She’s walking out of here with a frappe at the very least.’

‘Fair enough. Okay. The guy talking on the phone over my shoulder. Or at least I assume he is talking on the phone, otherwise it’s too himself because no one has walked past me to suggest otherwise.’

‘No, he’s on the phone. To his mother probably. Or his father. He’s on the phone to someone with some form of authority over him in his life if the amount of times he accompanies a response with an eye roll is anything to go by. He’s one of those work from homers that don’t actually work from home and set up shop in whatever place will provide them with their caffeine fix for the day. He’s probably actually not all that productive. Just very caffeinated and finding himself with less and less money because he has to keep buying things to justify keeping the table. Also, is not enjoying having to talk to whoever it is on the phone. He’ll probably just agree to call more and to go and see them soon and then be done with it. But the phone call will stick with him and he will blame that for the fact that he got nothing that he wanted to get done done today because that’s the thing with us work from homers, we get really good at coming up with excuses for why we haven’t accomplished much even though it’s all we were supposed to be focusing on all day.’

‘Ah, so it’s a thing then.’

‘Of course it is. I mean if my mum needs an opinion on flowers then I am going to give her a very comprehensive insight on what I think.’

‘Uh huh, sure. Now, I think we have taken too much of your time doing this and I know you said you had stuff that you wanted to.’

‘But do we have tooooo????’

‘Yeah, honey we do.’

They slipped back on their coats and went to leave, pausing to hold open the door for the girl with mermaid hair and a frappe in hand.

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