Letters to Autumn 3
Letters to Autumn,  My Life

Letters to Autumn 3

Dear Autumn,

You know what I’ve really learned this past month (and have low key always known)? Tracking your food intake is really fucking boring. Like really boring.

And tedious.

And sometimes hella repetitive. My god do I eat a lot of the same food every day. Every week. Just all the time. It’s almost depressing how much of the same good I eat. There’s so much avocado, chicken, broccoli and potatoes.

And apparently never enough carbs for the day. Ever. Always so far under.

Let me back up a little as to why I am doing the arduous task of inputting every bit of food that I eat over the course of a day.

First of all I should clarify that I have now stopped doing it because it was only ever going to be a short term thing.

And the reason I was doing it was to see just how I was doing with the whole calorie surplus thing because 2k18 has been the year of gainz.

Oaky, I kind of hate myself for phrasing it like that, but it’s true. I’ve spent the majority of the year actively trying to gain weight for the first time in my life.

In a year when I have also slowly upgraded to working out 5 times a week (for the most part). At one point this year I was doing more cardio than anything else, which is a sure fire way to drop a lot of weight. Weight I do not have. I’ve mostly existed at a level where I’m the thinnest I can be without actually looking like a skeleton. It’s a fine line, one that I continued to push until earlier this year.

Anyway, I’ve mentioned this before. I’m trying to gain weight, blah blah blah.

Gotta be in a surplus for that et ceterea, et cetera (I saw The King and I last week, that is continually in my head, but I digress).

I realised I had no idea if I was achieving that and so I tracked my food for a month.

Surprise, surprise. I’m not in a surplus. I’m gonna be honest with you, the act that I’ve gained weight at all (a whole 5kg) this year is kind of surprising to me. Because some days I am really under. Like really under. Those cardio days are killer, especially Wednesdays (seriously I burned over 1,000 active calories last Wednesday, the odds were always gonna be stacked against me).

This whole month long exercise, despite being incredibly boring after two week, was also very enlightening in that sense.

It did actually serve its purpose in giving me a sembelance of a picture as to what the hell is going on when it comes to my ultimate goal.

I think on some level it could have actually been quite a disheartening exercise as I’m reminded again and again of the fact that my active lifestyle is funnily enough a detriment to my ultimate weight goal. But this mostly had the opposite effect. It made me slightly more focused on my ultimate goal. It means I’ve got to make some modifications in order to get it to work for myself. It hasn’t changed the way that I view food at all, other than further reinforce that on some level it’s just really fucking boring to spend nearly 5 minutes inputting everything you eat into some app immediately after you finish it.

The exercise is done now probably never to be repeated. I gotta heat more carbs and more on Wednesdays (and sometimes Saturdays)

Love,

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