Hi, Hey, Hello!
You know what I’m not good at?
Asking for help.
Which is kind of odd I guess in some ways because it’s not like I’m an island or anything. I’m fortunate like that, but for some reason when things get really bad in my head I just sort of let them stay there and don’t try to get out of it at any point.
It’s something that I really need to get better at. Because talking about it would probably help me to rationalise whatever the hell is going on in my head a lot more.
Or at least it has done in the past.
Just getting it out of my head has usually always helped me a lot. It just means that I get to get out of my own way because a lot of the time the thing that I am getting super anxious over is something that I have dealt with before or something that I know rationally I can overcome, but on that day at that time my brain just sort of short circuits and the anxiety kicks in and then I don’t really know what to do.
But talking to someone, with context, does tend to help and it does remind me that there are people around me who can offer support when I need it.
And they don’t hate me for needing it. Because there is a part of me that always feels bad or like a burden when I talk to someone about what’s going on with me beyond just saying ‘oh I’m fine’. Which I guess is just another manifestation of the problem itself. And is something that I need to get better at.
That’s basically my attitude towards support when I really think about it. It’s something that I kind of need to be better at because it does help and I know that. And that’s better then just festering in the problem which means that everything gets worse. I need to shut down that voice that tells me not to talk about something and get better at actually getting it out there.
I have the net to catch me if I fall. I just need to get better at using it.
Parentheses count: 0. See you tomorrow!
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