Letters to Autumn, My Life

Letters to Autumn 6

Dear Autumn,

I was just minding my own business on Monday when I clicked on my little notifications button in the top right corner and was informed that I have had this little space on the internet for 5 years now.

Half a decade.

This blog was borne out of a university society. It was part of the project for that year or something and it was hardly used. There was no real name for it and the posting was sporadic. I was terrified to push publish every single time my cursor hung over the button. I chickened out of it a lot. I’ve hated this blog and I’ve almost abandoned it oh so many times.

But most of all I’ve loved this thing I’ve created.

It’s almost like a journal in some ways, not in that it is always super personal or anything, although I know it can be, but in the way it chronicles who I am as a writer. Or what my interests were at any given point. It’s a bit weird when I think about it like that, because it wasn’t what I intended this place to be.

I don’t really know what I intended it to be, but it wasn’t this. I didn’t think I would care that much about this. I didn’t think I would feel guilty about not posting or that I would start to push myself to do more on here. I didn’t think that I would invest money in it, or that I would spend so much time painstakingly designing a logo, and still not be happy with it. I didn’t even think it would make it out of uni. I just kind of didn’t think about it. It was a uni project that I let fall away really quickly because the time that I started it was not a good time.

But for whatever reason I didn’t let that happen.

And now, here I am a little bit over 5 years later and it’s still going. And I’m falling a little bit more in love with it as time passes on. I’ve come to enjoy posting on here, even when I kind of hate it…

Love,

 

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