Final 2018 Update

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Did I not just do one of these? Has it really been two months since the last one? Is this year really having the audacity to move this quickly. This is the last one of these for 2018 and that just kind of feels ridiculous. This year just started. How is it all downhill towards Christmas now?

Anyway, now that I have slowly come to terms with the fact that this is in fact actually happening I guess I should just get on with the update now shouldn’t I? Oh also, yes there have been some culls. This is a shorter update than the ones before:

1) Learn how to fuck with eyeshadow

So the festive season is coming and I feel like my treat to myself is playing with eyeshadow and really perfecting at least one look, because that is literally all my face is anyway. I have but one make up look, but the lipstick changes so it looks different. Just once I want the difference to be the eyeshadow. So now my free time shall be spent watching tutorials. Oh and also I gotta buy myself an eyeshadow palette, which is where the problem lies for me…

2) Learn how to do a full pull up

Honestly this remains just a case of me putting it to the test as to whether I can actually do this because I feel like I probably could. I’ve done enough groundwork that could kind of lead to me achieving just one of them, which is all I need. So that’s my final task, and to be honest the most important in order for me to classify this as a success.

3) Read 70 books

Hey, we are in November and I am in the final 10. There have been many times when I thought it would be impossible. The reading list for the year has morphed into something that I very much did not expect, but I think I’m gonna get there. I’m kind of worried as to what I’m going to try and achieve next year with this one…

4) Lift heavier

I can lift heavier than I used to overall, I can’t deny that. The thing about this one in the context that I lift weights in is that it’s choreographed and the choreography changes every of couple of months. I could go super heavy by the end of the last release. This current one though, I’ve not gone about 15kg. One, it physically feels like I can’t, my legs are tight these days and one of my wrists prohibits heavy lifting for some moves and two, this release doesn’t allow you to go super heavy without potentially risking form. It’s so many reps per move/track. So overall, yes I can lift almost double what I could at the start of the year, I’m just not doing that right now.

5) Eat more fruit and veg

I mostly hit my 5 a day these days. There are days when it’s really bad and days when it’s great. The balance in favour of good days is slowly swinging around, but all my fave fruits are out of season now and so there will be a bit of a scramble, but I’ll get it back.

6) Finish the damn book

This year started with this goal being in regards to a different Thing I was trying to write (I mentioned this last month at some point, I was talking about notebooks) but I’m not there yet with the ability to write it and so I’m on a different Thing that I am trying to finish this very month. There will be more on how it’s going later, but for the most part I think I can get this one done. I could end 2018 with a somewhat coherent first draft.

7) Write for half an hour a day

I’m gonna make this habit. I swear I will. I’ll get there eventually. This month has made me more aware of the need to than ever before.

8) Get my Peak score to 800

Here’s the thing, I lost that streak of mine in March and I got bitter. I’ve not opened the damn app for weeks now. But 900 is still an aim of mine. I don’t think I’m gonna get it this year. But I’m gonna try. Again.

9) Meditate more

I am still so bad at this and ironically it’s upsetting me and so I’m treating these final two months as a project. It’s 10 minutes of my day. When I did it for a month I felt so much better for it. This self care thing needs to level up a little bit, just because my anxiety is low right now doesn’t mean that it won’t be a little bitch and come back all guns blazing. I need that calm that came with regular meditation.

10) Save, save, save

I currently have two separate savings accounts open, both of which have money in. I’m also working on trying to close my overdraft fully. That won’t happen this year, but it’s closer to happening now than it was at the beginning of the year. This has no end point really, it’s ongoing, so I’m going to remove it from any kind of list. It’s just a given now.

And there have it. The final (I’m sorry what now?) check in of 2018. There will be final round up of this particular set of goals because for some there will be a final two month push, but that will come next year…

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Methods to Madness

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So I started trying something new this week. That something being that I have started to handwrite my blog posts up.

This is for a couple of reasons.

1) I own a lot of notebooks and a lot of them are blank.Which kind of defeats their purpose.

2) My handwriting has reached a new level of awful and I am trying to semi pull it back.

Like I said I haven’t been doing it for all that long, however I can tell that it might actually be the way forward for me.

If it wasn’t obvious, I’m kind of in some kind of blog rut. This has been for a few reasons as well. One, I’m trying to write The Thing and two, the fear of the blank page is real. When you have almost nothing in your head and you don’t quite know where you’re gonna go that black blinking curser on that white blank screen is a lot. It’s daunting.

When you can come to that blank page and know that you’ve got a shit ton of black ink on some lined paper it’s a lot less terrifying.

It also means that I can write my ideas down faster. Pen and paper is more immediate, once I go to that with something it’s easier for it to flow with me and I get a more solid picture of what the idea is trying to be. I kind of forgot that this was the case with me.

I find also that it helps me regulate my damn rambling. I can physically see how much space a post is gonna take up when it’s scrawled onto some paper. It eliminates the chance of me just getting lost in a thought and the sentence running on for decades. Don’t get me wrong, it still happens (it might very well be happening now) but when I’ve already written it I can see what maybe needs to go and I can see where the messy parts are that need to be tidied up. I’ve been really bad at self-editing almost any post that has gone up in the past couple of months because when it’s on the screen I just miss things.

When you gotta transfer it from page to screen you catch a lot more. Which means that posts from here on out will actually probably be less messy. And also it means that the post gets actually written a lot quicker, because it’s there and I’m a quick typer.

Like I said, this has been a new development, which is mostly why my posting schedule this week has been kind of off. But I’m feeling like this will make things clearer for me and will help regulate my schedule that way and I can finally feel like my blogging mojo might just come back. This place has felt a bit like a behemoth recently, but I’m starting to feel like it’s my space on the internet again.

And also, seriously I really need to use those blank notebooks again…(and I still can’t title for shit)

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Two Thirds In

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What up, we are at it again with another little new year resolutions catch up because the past two months have sped all the way by. Anywho, let’s just get to it because the way I know deep in my soul that some of these now need to be changed/removed entirely.

1) Learn how to fuck with eyeshadow

I have not given up hope with this one yet, but like I’m holding off for as long as possible before the eyeshadow obsession really hits.

2) Learn how to do a full pull up

Hmmmmm, I reckon I could maybe pull at least one of these off if I tried. I just haven’t tried.

3) Be able to a full push up

Look I can do this. To the point where I feel like I can remove this from the list. I didn’t specify that I had to be able to multiple in one go (go me of January) because I can’t. I have weak wrists and really tight shoulders. I can manage like 5 max and 2 of them go deep and then I gotta reset and just drop my knees. But I can do a full push up. That’s it. This is a success. Don’t get me wrong, I’m gonna keep working on it to get those reps in. But on the whole, this is tick.

4) Read 70 books

I’m at 46. I’m just off track by a single book. This is still looking good.

5) Lift heavier

Remember that breakdown that I’ve done? Yeah, it’s all bullshit now because a new release arrived and it threw everything into chaos. So now, it is basically me just going with what my body can do and also challenging it when necessary, So my chest weight has gone up, as well as my bicep weight (although that’s messing with my right wrist so I might need to reassess this…). I am so close to actually being able to squat 20kg, so that’s coming. I’ve also gone up in deadlift weight and that’s gonna go up again soon, however it burns my forearms so much come the end of it that it is ridiculous. I do this twice in 72 hours now which means that one class always goes better than the other, however the difference that it has made in the composition of my body is actually kind of impressive. The two sessions a week was initially just randomly going to be a summer thing, but to be honest, I’m gonna keep doing it for as long as I feel. Weights are a game changer.

6) Eat more fruit and veg

My eating habits over this summer have been questionable. So I am going to get back on track as of next week. And the reason that it is going to be next week is because I am going to go back off whey because it has been wreaking havoc with my skin and stuff because I bought a shit ton of protein bars that were non-vegan and I need to finish them first, which will happen this week. I am doing myself a disservice tbh because a lot of my fave fruits have been in season recently and so I have been eating a lot of fruit and also more veg, but it’s just been counteracted with the fact that ice cream is really good and the only thing that would do when it was regularly 32 degrees.

7) Cook More

Hahahhahahahahahaha. No. Not happening. I might just accept that this will not happen and call it a day. I am cooking, but it’s still the same stuff that I have cooked before.

8) Finish the damn book

Okay, this resolution was actually about a different book, but that kind of has hit a wall that I can’t quite write myself out of right now, but a different idea presented itself to me that I am actually making some headway with that I can work with. So it is unlikely that I will finish it, but I will get some of the way through a first draft I hope…

9) Write for half an hour a day

And because I have been feeling inspired for something different I have actually been quite good at this recently. It’s not every day yet by any means, but it is a lot more than I used to. It’s becoming more of a habit than it was at the start of the year which I’m not mad about.

10) Get better organised

I feel like at this point I might also write this off. Because it’s just not going to happen in the way that I envision it is going to happen. I am not going to be the kind of person who actually uses a planner and organises my diary, I’m just not. And I’m fine with that. I am organised enough for me and to be honest that is all I need.

11) Get my Peak score to 800

Okay, I lost my streak and then my interest kind of fizzled out and then it just stopped. However, I am getting back to it this month. I want that streak back up. It’s still currently at 834 and I’m going for that 900 by the end of the year.

12) Meditate more

This is also kind of going in the same way as the above. I’m getting back into this as of this week. I’m going to make it a daily practice.

13) Save, save, save

There is money in my savings account. I am considering this progress. I’ve made a lot of changes that are feeding into this one and it’s currently baby steps, but whatever. That’s better than nothing.

14) Put more effort into blogging

Okay, I have found my new schedule is actually so much more manageable (she says after a week where I posted twice…). It has just alleviated so much pressure that I had put on myself. It also means that I have some time to myself to really work on things that I want to and also means that I can have some guilt free nights where I just do nothing more than lie on the sofa and watch various actress singing Defying Gravity

15) The Masters

Not happening. Removing it from the list. I have thought about it long and hard and it’s just not for me at this moment in time.

Right there we go, another check in done. And some removals from the list which means the next one of these will be a little bit shorter, but also means that I don’t have to worry about them and feel guilty about the fact that I’m not working on them. Also, this year has gone by so fast it’s kind of gross…Just me?

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Hi, Hey, Hello!

The title is pretty self explanatory to be honest.

I am taking a blogging break because I have lost my mojo for it.

And I have also been fairly motivated for The Thing recently which I want to focus on and not have to think about this blog.

I’m taking a break for the rest of the month because otherwise I might burn out and I have not got the time for that right now. Or ever really, but definitely not now.

Then when I come back it’s gonna be all things bookish for August, because I like books and well by that point I should have quite the backlog of books to review and so we’re just gonna theme the whole month around books somehow. Again.

For now though, I am going to recharge the blogging batteries and work on The Thing because I am finally feeling inspired for it again and that has not been the case for months now.

I’ll still be around on Twitter and Instagram and sharing some of the posts I’ve written this year that I am particularly fond of, but there will be no new content on here until the 1st August.

See you all then!

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The A-Z Challenge

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Now we all know how much I love me some kind of blog project and so here I am with another one. This is supposed to take place in April, but well, it’s gonna happen in June on here because I do nothing on time.

It’s pretty simple, I just gotta make my way through the alphabet. I’m hoping it will kind of help me to focus a bit more but also allow me some freedom. I dunno, it might be a nightmare where I just don’t even know where to start because a lot of things could fall under one letter and I don’t know how to then break it down even further and tackle it then. It could all go tits up and actually not be that helpful.

But I’m hoping it won’t be like that.

In fact there are some things that I already think that I have lined up so it’s not seeming too hard to contend with. Obviously there are only 26 letters in the alphabet and so this won’t last the whole of June, but it will get me almost to the end of it and then I imagine I will just come at you with a shed ton of book reviews as I am prone to do.

So, that’s what we are doing here on this blog.

An A-Z Challenge of sorts.

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The Unique Blogger Award

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We are out of the Red Queen saga briefly while I finish up King’s Cage and then there will be another wait before War Storm because you can’t review a book you haven’t read yet. So that will come in a few weeks (why that will be the case will be made apparent soon) and you can probably expect another batch of them when the time comes.

In the meantime however, I was nominated by the lovely Jess for this award.

The Rules:

  • Share the link of the blogger who has shown love to you by nominating you
  • Answer the questions
  • In the spirit of sharing love and solidarity with our blogging family, nominate 8-13 people for the same award
  • Ask them 3 questions

Jess’ questions were the following:

Starting with a hard one, what is your favourite book?

Ummmm, this is a hard one. I have so many. I am really bad with this question. I think it’s The Secret History. But then it might also be Neverwhere. There are a lot to be honest. I have read a lot of great books. My favourite from this year so far has been They Both Die in the End.

Do you listen to music whilst reading. If you do, what do you listen to?

I do for the most part. These days I tend to only read on my way to and from work on the train. I cannot do that journey in silence, it would drive me insane. As to what I listen to, it varies. Currently I am on a huge musicals thing and am going through a cycle of Mean Girls, Heathers and Bandstand.

Where is your favourite place to read?

I don’t actually have a favourite place to read to be honest with you. I currently do most of my reading on trains, does that count? That’s kind of all I’ve got to be honest.

And that the question section of this here award done.

Onto my questions:

1) Can you not finish a book?

2) What’s your favourite book series?

3) What is one book that you could re-read multiple times and never get bored of?

And I tag:

1) A Very Bookish Girl

2) Samantha the Reader

3) Quirky Lady Bookworm

4) The Infinite Bookcase

5) LF Books

6) The Wanderlust Reader

7) A Book. A Thought

8) Continue Reading Here

And there we have it!

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Break Time

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This was originally going to happen in a couple of weeks but given the way that I’ve been feeling when it comes to putting together posts and the fact that for the most part I will literally do anything but click on the ‘write’ button, and the fact that this week I’ve only posted once and even that was late, I’m gonna call it now.

I’m taking a little break.

For the rest of the month. At least

Currently whenever I get hit with the urge to write it’s for The Thing and so I focus on that but then feel a little guilty because I am neglecting to write anything for the following day on here. And no one has the time for that kind of guilt. Especially because if you really think about there is nothing to be guilty for. And also sometimes what I really want more than anything is to just lie on the sofa and binge watch something (this Friday it was The Bold Type, which took the first episode for me to get into but once I was there I was hooked and now I’ve run out of episodes.

Also I have a lot of work to do on The Thing, like flesh out the characters and truly get the plot down because it’s mostly there but I still don’t really know where I want it go fully, I just have a vague idea and somewhere to go with it but I need to make it concrete and put it into my favourite things, which is words. I need to find my ass a pen and a notebook and get all the trail amount of information that likes to just sort of fly about in my head and see if I can get it to work in the way that I want it to. And if I don’t have to worry about writing up blog posts then I can get all this stuff done.

This time off from here will also allow me to bank up some posts again because I’ve let the queue run all the way dry (if that wasn’t completely obvious) when I was doing quite well and getting shit all the way done. Then I took some time off to just re-do certain aspects of the blog and with all that momentum I just sort of hit a wall. Which is whatever. And where we are at.

There is no content in my head to put on the page for this blog. At the moment. I mean there probably should be come Easter which is currently when I plan on coming back. Although I am still on holiday (in London, but not at work because I need some time off to recover from my holiday which is the previous week) for that week so it may be the second week of April. I don’t know I’m gonna play that by ear. Because I might also use that week to get some real solid writing done for The Thing because I am also planning on doing Camp Nano so that I can get this thing to at least 50,000 words by May. Maybe more, but I’m not gonna aim that damn high. And having a solid week to get some real groundwork done might actually be a better use of my time.

Like I said, I’m going to play it by ear.

What I am going to do though is go through the archives. I found a lot of old posts that I completely forgot about when I was having a little re-do. Which isn’t all that surprising because there are nearly 800 on here now (yeah, I deleted a bunch of posts and that really changed the number of posts that were on here) and once they are up after a couple of weeks I do kind of forget about them. So I’m going to go through all of my archives and share a couple each day. And actually use Tweetdeck so that I can get them organised and then forget about them again.

It’s a different level of organisation.

Overall I think that it will just make me feel less stretched out. Which is something that I currently need. I just need to swing the balance back into something that might actually be considered balance because right now it really is not.

Something’s gotta give and in this instance it’s the blog because that is the thing that I am currently feeling the least creative for.

So, that’s where we’re at with this now. I’m off for the next couple of weeks. I’ve got some planning and writing to do. Amsterdam to travel to and birthday for a brother to celebrate.

Parentheses count: 3. See you at some point in April!

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