Letters to Autumn, My Life

Letters to Autumn 8

Dear Autumn,

I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, but I feel like it’s time to go on a little social media detox.

I have for sure said this before, because I had intended to do it when I went to Greece (which was now two months ago and that in itself sounds horrifying) but then I ended up with fairly good wifi and using data wasn’t extortionate for the first time ever and it just sort of didn’t end up happening, because when you end up with a lot of down time, scrolling through Instagram and sharing a shit ton of memes with a person who is sat right next to you doing the exact same thing is how you pass the time when you’re not reading, or sitting in silence. Or sleeping.

So it didn’t happen.

But that itch to just step back away from it all is still there. I just need to not feel like I am being overwhelmed by everything because for the most part it feels like every time I open up any form of social media I am just being inundated with news that is rarely anything but awful (because yeah for the most part I find out all my news on Twitter…). And it’s weird because it doesn’t feel like it should be that hard, but for some reason it is.

Don’t get me wrong I can spend time away from it, but then when I return to it after a few hours away because I was busy or sleeping, I find myself just continually scrolling back until I am caught up with where I last was. And then I’ve lost a whole chunk of time kind of doing nothing.

There was also a period of time where my brain would just think in ways it could tweet or captions for pictures that didn’t actually exist. Admittedly it was at a pretty shitty time mentally for me and so it felt like my brain was compensating and being like ‘post frothy, pointless stuff that hides the problem’. But it was still there. It still happened like that. It was still the way that my brain operated and thought to resolve the problem rather than tackle the bloody issue head on. (That’s not for now though.)

And I need that to not be the case.

Which should be easy. I mean there was a time when I didn’t even have social media. I remember that time. It wasn’t like I was always on it. I didn’t even create my own Facebook account, a friend at the time did it for me because they thought it was ridiculous that I didn’t have it. People still think that it’s ridiculous that I am no longer on it. It’s weird.

But on that note, I have removed myself from social media in some way before. I’ve felt compelled to return to Facebook only once, and I resisted that urge and now for the most part I don’t miss it. It was a toxic element of my life and I feel better for it not being a part of my life anymore. And it should work the same way for everything else.

Not that they are toxic to me or anything, but in that it shouldn’t be that bloody hard to step away from it all and not spend so much time glued to my phone

I’m going away this week and I think one that I need to get the hell of London because I’m starting to feel worn down by it all and two that I need to not travel all that time only to spend it scrolling endlessly through three different sites. I have things to plan and write and read and I want to not be distracted.

So they’re coming off my phone for a week. I’m blocking them on my Chrome. I’m just having a little digital detox. This blog is gonna be as connected as I get.

And it feels like I shouldn’t need to say that I’m doing it, but I feel like I need to just so that I can call myself out on this whole thing. It’s a bit weird, I know.

Love,

 

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