Check In 1

Hi, Hey, Hello!

These are coming bi-monthly. At the beginning of the month. At the end of every two months. I should remember that right? (No, I will remember that). That will make it 5 in this year and then a round up.

And without further ado here is the first check in

1) Learn how to fuck with eyeshadow

I’ve worn make up so little these past couple of months because I just did not really leave the house and it was just for my birthday that I put it on and as such I spent that day truly living my best. I also do not currently own any eyeshadows or appropriate brushes and I’m cutting down on my spending so that will be a goal that I might attempt later i the year.

2) Learn how to do a full pull up

I’ve not even gotten myself into a situation where I have even attempted to do this yet. I walk past these pull up bars in the park on the way to work every morning and think about how I will maybe use something with that kind of set up and then just haven’t even tried. I’m trying to work on my chest and upper body strength before I go in. I don’t even know why that is to be honest, but I just don’t feel ready to tackle this one yet.

3) Be able to a full push up

My half push up things are fine. If I’m on my knees and on the right day I can get down real low. I’ve not really gotten any further with the full one. Mainly because there is something a little bit niggly in my right wrist which makes bearing weight on it a bit hit and miss. Which is nice and useful for most body weight movements. It means that my balance is being tested slightly more because I try and avoid putting my hands down for some moves now and also means that I don’t do high planks and my knees are better at scraping the floor in mountain climbers. It also means that I avoid push ups currently. Like I said, it’s hit and miss, sometimes my wrist is fine, sometimes it’s not. I have to play it by ear.

4) Read 70 books

I’m 11 in. Soon to start the 12th. I’m making progress with this. I’m currently a little ahead of schedule, but only by a book. This is plodding along.

5) Lift heavier

I’ve come the realisation that this one is kind of vague and so I’m breaking it down a little. I’m aiming to reach a TUT squat weight of 20kg, arms/chest to 10/12kg and then everything else to roughly 15kg by July. And then I will reassess then if I have managed to do it. I went up in my squat weight last Sunday to 15kg on a whim, but my arms/chest didn’t feel quite up for the challenge of 10kg and I was right they struggled with their usual 8 and the rest of it I just felt like I was going to compromise massively on form so I just stuck with 10kg which seemed like the right choice. I am making steps. The 15kg felt kinda good, I was surprised at how much I had missed it and also by how much I enjoyed it.

6) Eat more fruit and veg

This remains hit and miss. Some weeks I’m really good and on it and hit 5 a day and then some weeks I don’t. I really need to work to make it a more conscious effort.

7) Cook More

This is going nowhere right now.

8) Finish the damn book

I aimed to get to 10,000 words on The Thing this week. That’s where I’m at with that 10,000 words. No real character building, only a vague plot, no coherence with the way that I am writing it, but the words seem to be there and I do know what I want the arc to be. It’s something.

9) Write for half an hour a day

This is not happening. I mean I am writing for half an hour or more when I’m writing for this blog, but externally of that I am not that disciplined with that yet.

10) Get better organised

We all know the answer to this right?

11) Get my Peak score to 800

On February 6th this happened. I knew it was coming because suddenly the number stopped hanging in the 770/780’s and was at 794. And so I plodded along to get to my goal of 800. It felt like such a great achievement after it alluding me for so long. So now the goal is 900.

12) Meditate more

Again, not really happening right now. It’s just not a habit that I appear to have any desire to cultivate for some annoying reason. Ironically I think I am in my own head too much and can’t switch off, nor can I accept that that is just a thing that happens, but the key is to let those thoughts pass and then bring it back. As I’m writing this I am in the midst of reading Eat, Pray, Love and she has just got to India, which is the Pray, part and she is talking about meditation and how she struggles with it and I feel kind of the same way.

13) Save, save, save

I’m made a huge reduction in the amount of unnecessary spending I am doing, so this is kind of fine right now. It’s where I want it to be to be honest. I’ve allowed myself a couple of things (like my Apple Watch and a new pair of trainers) but for the most part I am getting better at saying no.

14) Put more effort into blogging

This seems to be doing alright. I mean I did just sort of reinvent this blog a bit these past couple of weeks (and this is the last mention) and I feel a new sense of excitement about it which is always good. I’m also getting better at sharing my posts more frequently. This feels good.

15) The Masters

Okay, so this is still an idea. But I now also have another thing that I may want to do. I’m aware that I am being quite vague about this but currently it’s still just a seed in my head that I may or may not water…

Parentheses count: 3. See you tomorrow!

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The Diet

Hi, Hey, Hello!

This way lies fitness chat of sorts.

This week I decided to track what I ate during the day for the whole week just to get an idea of it all. Not because I was looking to start counting calories or because I was looking to get restrictive and super controlled with my eating, but mainly just out of curiosity.

I have learnt one thing so far that for some reason I didn’t really ever take note of. My eating habits are really damn repetitive. With the exception of dinner and the fact that I had something sweet after dinner on Monday (strawberries), I have eaten the exact same thing all week. For three whole days. There is no variation in my day to day (actually I tell a small lie, Tuesday and Wednesday I added a protein shake). It changes with dinner and even then I’ve had rice and chicken 2 out of 3 days just dressed up a bit differently.

This week has also given me a vague idea of my macros. My protein is fine and considered to be within range, but I need to switch my fats and carbs around. The balance between those two is only marginally out, which I didn’t know and well apparently that is useful to know for me.

The reason that I’ve done this this week is because all the exercise in the world isn’t going to fix a poor diet. Now mine isn’t awful, but there are definitely areas that I know I could improve with it. Like the fruit and veg part of it, I still hover at 2/3 a day and sometimes it’s really bad and I only have one (and that one is an avocado because I am nothing if not basic) and so putting it down onto paper (an app) really highlights the weak points.

I’ve also done it because I’m gonna be real, I have no more weight to lose if I want to be a healthy weight for my height. I’ve stripped it down to the lowest it could possibly be without it getting it super dangerous (again). I’ve also done all this unintentionally. Although I don’t really know what else I expected given that I upped the exercise I do with no real changes to my diet. I imagine for a while I was in a MASSIVE calorie deficit. I’m still in one now. And I need to not be in one.

I’m trying to build muscle now, that’s a shift that I’ve had in my mindset when it comes to this healthy lifestyle of mine this past couple of weeks. And for that to happen I need to not be in a deficit. I’m not here to cut. I’ve accidentally done that already and now I need to put some weight back on. And get lean and toned and there are ways that I can achieve that through exercise, but at this point the key to this change is going to be diet.

This little exercise has also proven one how far I’ve come within myself regarding my attitude to my diet and weight etc and also just how easy I would find it to fall back into some really bad habits. I’ve tracked my food before and it made me feel worse about myself and that way lay madness that I just sort of fell into with little to no regard. I didn’t try to make any changes and it got worse and then it all went tits up until I came out the other side (of not being in uni or unemployed anymore, turns out spending time with people who will actually notice whether to not you do or don’t eat sort of makes you try a bit more).

But this time I don’t look at it and think shit I’ve eaten so much I need to restrict or shit I’ve not eaten enough I need to binge to get some energy into me. I just look at it and think, okay this is where we’re at. I need more carbs, more protein and slightly less fat (I think the balance of that is mostly healthy fats by the way, so even then it’s not super catastrophic). Currently I have no idea how I’m going to do that, but that’s one of the reasons why I embarked on this exercise. To figure it out.

I can’t get anywhere with this aspect of things without actually knowing what the reality of it is. And the reality isn’t awful. I knew it wouldn’t be awful. But there is still a part of me that spent months/years borderline obsession over this and so looking at it again kind of scared me. But the best part about the way that regular exercise has changed my mindset is that if I’m burning so many damn calories/energy then I am going to need to fuel that and food does that. And I fucking love food.

To not be mildly terrified (and also act like I’m fine with it which can get kind of exhausting) of food is surprisingly really fucking good.

The various pieces of the puzzle that is the healthy lifestyle are slowly starting to fit together and I am feeling pretty damn good for it.

Side note, I am in no way restricting any part of my diet because that is long and naattt good and also cake exists and why would I want to do that? And also for the most part I’m not tracking this beyond Sunday, but that may change (I kind of doubt that know if I know myself the way I know I do…)

Parentheses count: 9. See you tomorrow!

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Hi, Hey, Hello!

You would be correct in remembering (and if you did, wow, well done) that I have already done a post about this before. And if you didn’t then here it is.It comes from nearly exactly a year ago, which I have only just discovered because I didn’t think it had been that long since I had last talked about.

It is no longer going all that well.

I kind of had a wobble, which I hesitate to call a wobble because that makes it sound bad when really it’s not but we’re gonna go with this terrible word, all the way back in October and well to be honest as it got closer and closer to Christmas the less it seemed to make sense to me to try and give it back up again. And then January is both a shitty month and the one which houses my birthday and so doing it then is just non sensical.

And so basically I’ve just fallen back into those old habits of mine. Not quite in the same way as I did before, I no longer have it in me to eat a whole bag of to share M&Ms in one sitting but I can make my way pretty solidly and pretty quickly through a whole tub of ice cream without really noticing. And I’m also better at not having them, work is a hub for sweets and for the most part I can avoid sliding my chair over to them (they’re right behind me, I’m not that lazy) and eating them all.

But what I do currently do is feel like I cannot get through a day without something sweet in it. And it’s an impulse that I am not even attempting to ignore anymore. Or at least at the moment. Sometimes I have some fruit instead but for the most part I find myself on the hint for chocolate and convincing myself that fruit just won’t do it. And I want to get back into the habits that I held for at least 7 out of 12 months last year.

It’s kind of one of my goals for the year. Not specifically sugar because I am not removing that from my life entirely because I love dessert but there are elements that need some more fine tuning again. Like going back to 5 days off and 2 days on. And eating more fruit and veg. And actually just eating more in general, although that’s a whole other thing that we’re not going into right now. And cooking more. Basically my diet is the last piece of the puzzle that I need to slot into things.

But first I’m gonna tackle the sugar thing, when February starts because I’ve got some birthday chocolate to finish.

Parentheses count: 2. See you tomorrow!


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