Letters to Autumn, My Life

Letters to Autumn 11

Dear Autumn,

Sometimes, it turns out, my sporadic nature works for the better without my even realising it.

On Monday night, while I was not scrolling endlessly through Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram I found myself clicking over onto my scheduled posts here on my blog. And well, there are a lot of November posts with titles just waiting to be written because for the most part all the groundwork is there. They are books that I need to review and some other little bookish things that only require the knowledge that is in my head.

And well, I found myself starting to write them.

I didn’t really think much of it at first, I needed something constructive to do with my time and it seemed like it would be more productive than trying to read with my tired eyes (somehow staring at my laptop screen was better for those very eyes once I had switched to night mode) and not take anything in properly.

Then I realised that if I end up with most of the month’s posts written it is one less thing to worry about having to write come the month itself (which isn’t actually as far away as I would like it to be, for a reason that will become apparent shortly). The most I would have to worry about is sharing the posts on the days that they were posted.

And the reason that it is important is because I am crazy enough to think that attempting NaNo this year is a good idea. Now I am a total pantser when it comes to this endeavour. I never really go in with a plan. In fact in the cases of a couple of years I didn’t even really go in with a solid idea. This year feels a bit different in that respect.

For one I’m being a total rebel and working on something that already has a solid almost 16,000 words to it’s name (not that it actually has a name, but you know what I mean) which means that it is something that already has legs with me. Because of that, and secondly, it means that I am just treating November as a way to bolster my word count. If I can bolster it by 50,000 words then great. If I can’t then that’s also fine, I will just be happy that I managed to get it up by at all. Because unlike before this isn’t an idea that I just came up with for the sake of the month and thought it might work and I should try and write 50,000 words on it with no real direction. This is something that has sat with me for a while and that I keep coming back to. And in my head it has a clear direction, I just need to actually get it down onto paper and really flesh out all the details.

Which is what I am using November to do. And I guess to allow myself the best chance of success my brain was like, ‘hey you should really write some of November’s posts up so you don’t have to then’. And so, while I’ve got some time to truly dedicate to that (as well as reading and just enjoying being by the ocean again) I am going to do just that.

Love,

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My Life

NaNoWriMo – The Final Update

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So, NaNoWriMo is over given that today is now the first day of a new (and final) month and so I guess I am due a second update on that whole writing 50,000 words in a month thing.

The short answer is I didn’t do it.

I didn’t update my word count once. I don’t even think I went on the website at any point beyond the first of the month.

In fact from what the basis of my story was, which stood at just over 24,000 words I have lost words.

That’s how the month had gone. And it’s basically gone that way because i have just reached peak procrastination levels recently. I go into weekends with the best of intentions and then by the time Sunday night rolls around I have almost nothing to show for it except for a new programme or film that can now be crossed off my list. That’s it. And it’s made all the more annoying by the fact that I have ideas. I have trails of thoughts that are half formed sentences and could actually slot into the overall narrative just fine if I ever actually bothered to get them out onto a piece of paper. But I don’t, so they just stay in my head and so far have yet to make it into the world and mean that there is for the most part no forward progression on the damn thing.

I’m not all that fussed about the fact that I have come no where close to finishing this thing for the first time in 4 years. This isn’t the first time that I haven’t finished and whereas the times previously when I haven’t finished have felt awful, this one doesn’t seem to phase me. I mean to an extent I am slightly disappointed but for the most part I’m very whatever about it.

Over the next few days I’m going to actually tie up the loose ends that I have, just so that I can stop talking about it and then I am going to try and get some of the things in my head out onto paper so that I can free up some space in my brain for some other things and maybe that way I can actually somehow get to a point where I have written an extra 50,000 words. And then written some more words to actually have something that could be considered a complete first draft and get ready to edit it again and repeat the process again.

So that’s my update. I failed in the most epic of fashions this NaNoWriMo and wrote a grand total of 0 words.

Ah well. How did those who did take the task on last month do?

Parentheses count: 1. See you at the weekend!

 

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Summary Saturday

Summary Saturday

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I for one am happy that it is the weekend right now. I had a terrible night’s sleep last night and then for some reason after nearly 2 months of being mostly fine my anxiety decided it wanted to sky rocket and that shit is draining. And so yeah, these two days where I can try and get it back together are much needed. Sleep, seeing Fantastic Beasts, eating (always) and watching something on Netflix is on the agenda.

Enough ramblings, this week on the blog only included one book review and all of this:

Letters to Autumn: The 2016 Edition

2016 Reading Challenge Book 29 – The Host

NaNoWriMo Update

Here’s the Thing

Snapshot 49

Parentheses count: 1. See you tomorrow!

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My Life

NaNoWriMo Update

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So, we are in the middle of the month and as I have suggested multiple times I am attempting NaNo this month and well…that’s not really happening all that much to be honest.

I haven’t updated my word count once.

In fact, if anything I have lost part of initial total word count (because I am being a rebel this year…what what!?). I mean I have added stuff to the story but it came at the cost of losing a bunch of other shit that suddenly became totally irrelevant and so had to go. I actually have a clear idea as to what I want from it and am watching this thing shape into something that I am actually liking now. Which just further reinforces the idea that all first drafts are shit.

What’s exciting about this though is that at some point I will have a complete first draft that I can then tweak and alter and turn into something that I am actually, maybe, possibly a little bit proud of. I mean I am a fair distance away from getting to that stage. Like so far away from that stage. I’m hovering over 20,000 words right now. There is no way that I am writing 50,000 new words that aren’t an edit on an existing version in 15 days. There just isn’t. Unless I somehow get hit with a massive wave of inspiration and hours in which I do not get distracted or start procrastinating, which knowing me is just not going to happen.

I will get somewhere with it because I have been hit by a wave of inspiration with this and am rolling with it so there will be some forward movement just not ya know 50,000 words of it.

And to be honest I am totally fine with that. A year ago I so would not have been. I would have been frantically trying to pull any word imaginable out of the air and put it onto a piece of paper just to bulk it all out whether it was anything close to decent or not.

But not this year. Which probably tells you all you need to know about my mental state this year as opposed to last (better, much better).

So I will check back in at the end of the month with another update of the rest of the month. I mean there will be some kind of forward movement between now and then at some point I hope, but otherwise this month is kind of a write off in terms of NaNo.

Anywho, parentheses count: 2. See you tomorrow!

 

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Somebody was Optimistic

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Welcome to the last week of January, this is going by quick innit??

Anyway, the reason for the ambiguous af title is as follows. All the way back in October I bought myself a nice little planner to get my shit together and become this alien concept that is ‘organised’ (which is an hilarious sentence to write after the week I have had…basically anything even close to being organised could not be used to describe me, there was a reason my post yesterday came later than usual and that’s 100% to do with the fact that I didn’t finish writing it until 16:25…).

And with that attempt to be organised I started listing all the possible things that might come up at some point in my blogging life, so you know recurring features were filled out and my time was blocked out for them it was all very orderly. It also coincided with me getting in to that Nano headspace (this honestly feels like a lifetime ago and not 3 months ago) so there were little notes throughout it that linked to that.

Including this one:

Nano optimism
Somebody was optimistic

(which also comes with bonus insight into what is going to be included in Sunday’s post…and the shadow of my phone)

Now, I didn’t finish Nano last year. Not even close really, I talk about it here. It didn’t make the mark, by almost 40,000 words. There isn’t even a plot to the damn thing. I lost that somewhere along the way in the labyrinth that is my brain. I have 2 semi fleshed out characters and that does not a novel make. I don’t know what that makes, but it isn’t much more then a half formed, almost idea of nothing of any real importance. I have a lot of dialogue, with no description or anything, just pages of conversations that I struggled to figure out at the time, god knows what it would be like now.

Confusing to say the least.

Mostly this little note that past me left for present me made me laugh because it seemed to hold so much hope for an idea that I knew at the time was barely there in the first place.

However I do have a notebook that is solely dedicated to this non-idea. It has the fragments of what I have written encased in the embossed black cover. It has all the preliminary research that I did for it scribbled down in black ink. It has some intentions for what I wanted to do with plot written down in half sentences that I could probably piece together, or use to start over in a completely different way.

I do still get hit with slight ideas as to what I can do with those 10,000 that are just sitting in a clumsy manner on a word document collecting the digital equivalent of dust. Nothing that actually makes any sense to be honest and would not a plot make, but something at the very least.

So I will not be starting to tidy up the thing at all because there is so many more problems with it other than the fact that it is a first draft. The glaring on being that it doesn’t really exist. I mean there are 10,000 words, but it doesn’t really exist in the slightest. I can’t see it doing so any time soon. But I am sure another idea will hit me in relation to it, or I’ll get a completely different, totally ridiculous one that I will sit with for ages and one day find another note in my planner telling me to go look at it again because somebody at some point was far too optimistic…

Parentheses count: 3. See you tomorrow!

 

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