Books, My Life

Coffee Book Tag

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I’m gonna level with you, I broke glass for emergency tag post today because it was supposed to be a review. But I could not find the words for it yesterday when I was trying to write it so I pushed it back and then when I got home from work today I still couldn’t do it. So I pushed it back again and then panicked, because I had nothing else.

But good old reliable YouTube black holes provided and so I ended up with this because YouTube always provides and my recommended videos are a strange place to be and it combines two of my favourite things in books and coffee.

1. Black: Name a series that’s tough to get into but has hardcore fans.

I’m kind of scared to involved in anything to do with Sarah J Maas. I randomly have book 5 from the Throne of Glass series (it was signed, I have a problem, I know) but I’m scared to actually start it. Those fans be passionate.

2. Peppermint mocha: Name a book that gets more popular during the winter or a festive time of year.

I mean  My True Love Gave to Me is just pure festive. It’s full of warm fuzzy Christmas feelings and it’s delightful. However my Christmas time reading will be all Hamilton related, because yes, that is how I plan on finishing out this reading year.

3. Hot chocolate: What is your favourite children’s book?

Double Act. I’ve said this so many times before

4. Double shot of espresso: Name a book that kept you on the edge of your seat from start to finish.

Gone Girl and The Girl on the Train

5. Starbucks: Name a book you see everywhere.

At the moment nothing. But at one point I saw Cassandra Clare a lot on my commute into work, and I was one of those people for a large chunk of this year.

6. That hipster coffee shop: Give a book by an indie author a shoutout

I feel bad in that I don’t read much from indie authors…but I feel like people need to talk about Jessie Burton more. The Muse was nothing short of pure genius wrapped in stunning writing.

7. Oops! I accidentally got decaf: Name a book you were expecting more from.

I have so many and yet initially I could not think of a single one. Our Chemical Hearts was the first one that eventually came to mind. It just didn’t do it for me.

8. The perfect blend: Name a book or series that was both bitter sweet but ultimately satisfying.

Oh look, here we are. Turns out I can’t go a book post without bringing this up. It’s Harry Potter…

And there we have my emergency book tag post done.

Give it a shot if you like, I would love to read them.

Parentheses count: 1. See you tomorrow!

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Letters to Autumn, My Life

Letters to Autumn 25

Dear Autumn,

Let me give you some context first. 6 years ago I moved away from home and went all the way to Liverpool for the first time for uni.

In doing this I left my old bedroom free for the taking. Which my brother did within about an hour of me leaving the house.

He then kept that room for 5 years, up until the point where he moved out. And since then it’s slowly become a place where I just dump all the shit that I just cannot fit in my own room, but it has pretty much been unoccupied for the past 14 months.

Until last weekend where on a whim I decided to just call it and the move fuck back in. So I moved my duvet and pillow from my current bed and I put them in my old room and something finally clicked in my head.

Once that small move had taken place there was no stopping me. I won a light box last summer which has basically just been sitting in it’s box since it arrived into the house that I finally had a place to put in. I got a free reed diffuser in March when I bought my mum’s birthday present that could finally open and make use of. The smell is delightful, a slightly musky scent that is right up my street.

And then I really went a bit crazy. I bought a new lamp and a desk chair, because I realised that I could really go all out here and set this space up as something that is going to be actually useful and just give me a place to go in my house that I haven’t really had in the 3 years that I’ve been back home. I mean I had my room but it was always too small to really want to spend any really extended period of time in.

In less than a week I have now created a space that I can work and relax in and am very quickly making it my own. And will continue to do so, enjoying every aspect of being able to do that again.

I gotta be honest a lot of the reason that I haven’t done it sooner is because I am incredibly lazy and to be honest I did only use my room to sleep in. But then I spent a whole week living completely on my own and I had all this space and could just be that I finally realised just how much I missed not having to be an actual person who had to pretend to want to be social and all that jazz. I got all Virginia Woolf and a room of one’s own about it basically.

I still have a lot to work to do with it all though. For example I am finally, finally, going to sort my room out properly. Go through my wardrobe and decide which clothes I actually want to get rid of (or maybe sell, depending on the state of them). I need to figure out what the fuck I am going to do with all the books that I have just shoved under my bed and not thought about for years, even though I know there are loads under there. I really don’t know where they are going to go, but hey, let’s cross that bridge later. And, again I need to figure out what to do with them, because there may be some that I really don’t need. But I’m not thinking about that yet. I’m gonna focus on the clothes first.

And also on the ways that I can make this room even further my own. It currently already has some early NaNo inspiration/prep above the desk, but there is so much scope to do so much more with it that I am excited about. It’s starting to feel like my space again, which it was 6 years ago, very much so. Only funnily enough, given that I am 6 years older, the things that I want to hang out in my space are very different to what they used to be.

But before I deal with the mammoth task that is the wardrobe clear out, I shall first look into other things to make the room seem more comfortable. Like candles, or some shit. More cushions. I dunno. The internet will probably provide though.

Love,

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Letters to Autumn, My Life

Letters to Autumn 6

Dear Autumn,

I was just minding my own business on Monday when I clicked on my little notifications button in the top right corner and was informed that I have had this little space on the internet for 5 years now.

Half a decade.

This blog was borne out of a university society. It was part of the project for that year or something and it was hardly used. There was no real name for it and the posting was sporadic. I was terrified to push publish every single time my cursor hung over the button. I chickened out of it a lot. I’ve hated this blog and I’ve almost abandoned it oh so many times.

But most of all I’ve loved this thing I’ve created.

It’s almost like a journal in some ways, not in that it is always super personal or anything, although I know it can be, but in the way it chronicles who I am as a writer. Or what my interests were at any given point. It’s a bit weird when I think about it like that, because it wasn’t what I intended this place to be.

I don’t really know what I intended it to be, but it wasn’t this. I didn’t think I would care that much about this. I didn’t think I would feel guilty about not posting or that I would start to push myself to do more on here. I didn’t think that I would invest money in it, or that I would spend so much time painstakingly designing a logo, and still not be happy with it. I didn’t even think it would make it out of uni. I just kind of didn’t think about it. It was a uni project that I let fall away really quickly because the time that I started it was not a good time.

But for whatever reason I didn’t let that happen.

And now, here I am a little bit over 5 years later and it’s still going. And I’m falling a little bit more in love with it as time passes on. I’ve come to enjoy posting on here, even when I kind of hate it…

Love,

 

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My Life

Out of the Habit

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When I returned to this blog at the beginning of the month I changed the way I viewed it and took a lot of pressure of myself for the sake of my sanity and to avoid just churning out an old post for the sake of getting something out on a day to day basis.

Turning that switch off in my head has proved to be incredibly beneficial to the way that I view this blog. I stopped looking at it as some kind of chore and that in turn helped to create a more creative view for myself on it. I started to feel more inspired and more inclined to actually write content and it’s great. There is still a little bit of blogger’s guilt when I do miss a day, or in the case of this last week just go days without posting. But I would rather that then getting home for the day and then writing something that I kind of hate the entire that I am typing it and just letting it post. And I have to keep reminding myself of that on the days where my usual posting time passes and nothing comes with it.

Anyway, thinking about this has all come about because come Sunday I am going back to posting every single day. Every day. For the whole 31 days. Something that I haven’t done since Letters to Spring earlier in the year. Which at this point in the year seems like a distant, distant memory. And it felt kind of hard then even though I was in a better habit with this blog then.

I don’t even really know what to expect from next month at this point. On the one hand I’m not all that worried because the beauty of the month is that it is almost like a diary with the way that I approach it. They don’t have to be all that substantial in terms of content, in that in my head I just feel like I can take a little thing that happened on any given day and then just talk through my thought process in some way. In that respect I pretty much treat this project as a way to keep the cobwebs from building up too much on my writing and just get very Virginia Woolf about it all. And that is something that can take as little as half an hour each day. On the other had though I am kind of terrified of having to get back into the habit of posting every day because it’s not something that I used to doing at this point any more. Hasn’t been for months. And I don’t quite know how I am going to react to it.

I mean I have slowly built up to it in some ways with this month, but then I’ve also really not, given my almost near radio silence for the last week.

For one, I am going to have to really nail the whole being organised thing (more on how that is going later on in the week, see I occasionally have things planned…) and secondly I’m going to have to keep reminding myself that it’s okay if they get a bit more stream of consciousness than usual, that’s the beauty of the project that I decided to partake in and kind of make whatever the hell I want.

Oh, and I also need to remind myself not to repeat myself, so I gotta get better of keeping track what I wrote, which I guess links into the whole being organised thing.

And then I need to start worrying about November…which although themed in my head is also going to still (try) and be an everyday-er kind of job. So far, the month has a lot of book reviews scheduled because those have pretty disappeared recently, but I need to get more bookish ideas that are not that over the next few weeks so it’s literally just a case of writing them up, not thinking of ideas and then trying to figure out what the hell to do with them the day before the post is due.

I’m feeling good about the next couple of months though. So good in fact that I am, yet again, considering taking part in Nano in November. I might cheat juuustttt a little and work on an already existing manuscript,  but if I can get 50,000 words added to that it will be all the closer to actually being a finished thing and that kind of blows my mind. I mean there are a lot of other hurdles to jump over before it gets to that, but I’m doing the damn thing.

But before that I gotta do the damn thing of Letters to Autumn, and also make a modification to my sign off…

Parentheses count: 2. See you next time!

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My Life

More About Me

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I find that when all else fails the easiest thing to do when you’re a bit stuck is to just talk about yourself. I like to think that myself is a topic I am good at talking about…(I’m not, I actually avoid it all costs).

I was just doing a bit of blog reading last night (finally) and came across this and well I also love an open invitation because it gives me an idea! And I am really running out of those right now…So I’m talking about myself kind of, what I’m actually doing is responding to 11 questions in my usual rambling fashion.

1) When was the last time you laughed? What at?

I am currently listening to My Dad Wrote a Porno as I am writing this post up, so that was the last thing I laughed at.

2) What’s the weather like where you are? How does it affect you?

It’s really fucking hot I cannot lie. My office is stuffy as hell and then going outside is somehow like sweet relief even though it’s 30 degrees or some shit. And then trains are a nightmare to deal with because there is almost no ventilation on them and I travel in rush hour. And dressing for this weather, ugh that’s nigh on impossible because the heat makes me want to wear as little as possible, but I work in an office and that’s not appropriate so…I mean on the one hand I like it because it’s summer but on the other I miss my black skinny jeans…

3) What thoughts keep you awake at night?

What doesn’t keep me awake at night?? I mean work, what I have to do, trying to remember if I’m going to the gym the next day and have to source some work out wear, sometimes I have some other ideas for things and then I start wondering if I can be bothered to reach for my phone and type them down, then I start wondering how long it’s going to take to fall asleep. The list goes on, my mind goes into total overdrive as I get into bed.

4) What conversations do you avoid?

Conversations about myself and things that involve feelings and the such.

5) If you were invisible for a week, what would you do?

Fucking nothing. I would just hide somewhere and be. Which is a really boring answer, but what else can you really do without being incredibly creepy? Also I live in London so going anywhere when invisible is a terrible idea, it’s better to be seen.

6) What’s the oddest thing you’ve ever seen? (Things on the internet don’t count)

I work in East London, I see a lot of weird shit. But obviously I cannot think of a single odd thing that I’ve seen, but there’s been some odd stuff.

7) If you could live the life of any character in a novel, who would it be?

I read so many damn books how can I only pick one??? At the moment I’ll go Elizabeth Bennett, but the Elizabeth Bennett that gets Colin Firth’s Mr Darcy…

8) When do you feel most alive?

When I start a new book and have no idea what is about to be unveiled to me. And eating a really good burger.

9) You can have a penfriend from any time in history, who would it be? What kind of letters would you write?

It would be Oscar Wilde and honestly I don’t even know what I would write about, but I feel like his would be full of all kinds of flowery imagery and language and I am here for it.

10) Do you ever feel like you haven’t a clue what you’re doing and you’re about to be found out? What makes you feel like that?

Errr, my job makes me feel like that. I feel someone is gonna be like, ‘um excuse me you are way too young to be holding that much responsibility, what do you think you’re doing?’

11) Would you like your home country to introduce basic income (everybody gets paid enough to live on whether they work or not)? How would it change your life?

I think yeah a basic level income would be good, but not necessarily for people who don’t work…I mean the State here is pretty decent from what I know of it, but I don’t have much interaction with that part of it. Either way, I currently have a full time job so it wouldn’t change my life that much. But yeah, a wage with which you could actually live on seems to be a thing that everyone should have access to.

And that’s me just rambling on about some random shit…

Parentheses count: 2. See you tomorrow!

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My Life

What is currently on your mind?

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So I may have told a small untruth, in that in actual fact I hit a wall with what I was going to post again and decided to change the idea again so it’s still in a half finished state and I’m working on it. I’m not gonna give a date that it might actually show up because I don’t have one it would appear given how often I keep changing the damn idea.

But anyway, the post today is pretty self explanatory.

What is currently on your mind?

Well I am currently writing this while watching the One Love Manchester concert and it is making me feel some kind of way. On some level for that reason the last couple of weeks have been a tad intense for a multitude of reasons and on some level there is just anger bubbling away under the surface.

Underneath that there is also this never ending cycle of anxiety that seems to be just plaguing me right now and just when I think it has passed it hits me all over again and I’m in this weird doomsville with it all which is started to get really frustrating. And then that frustration in and of itself makes it worse and I would just very much like to not be in my own head for a little while. Alas, I am taking comfort in meditation and exercise to just try and keep things a little bit more settled.

Then there is the part of me that is prepping for the work week ahead. Which is what it is. Work has finally stopped draining me so much because my mindset has finally improved a bit which felt like it took a decade, but that was related to the earlier thing. But it’s still draining. Mainly because as the weather warms up the office becomes some kind of sauna and that kind of heat just makes a person feel tired anyway.

Other than that, I am currently sleeping kind of well, which a part of me is suspicious about because well I’m me. And I’m also sort of looking ahead to the rest of the week and all the various things I need to do on different days of the week (and figure out at what point of the day I am actually going to go to a polling station on Thursday). And I’m also wondering just how long I’ve had a face mask on my face because it’s flaking off and I feel like that’s a sign that it’s been on too long…

Parentheses count: 1. See you tomorrow!

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Summary Saturday

Summary Saturday

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So, I was a no show yesterday, I know. That’s because I strained a muscle in my wrist or something and had limited usage of my right hand, so typing a thing that I had to even think of just wasn’t going to happen.

But before that happened, this week on the blog:

Fitness

When do you feel most creative?

Questions to Ponder pt 5

Questions to Ponder pt 4

Questions to Ponder pt 3

And that’s the week!

Parentheses count: 0. See you tomorrow!

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