Letters to Autumn, My Life

Letters to Autumn 8

Dear Autumn,

I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, but I feel like it’s time to go on a little social media detox.

I have for sure said this before, because I had intended to do it when I went to Greece (which was now two months ago and that in itself sounds horrifying) but then I ended up with fairly good wifi and using data wasn’t extortionate for the first time ever and it just sort of didn’t end up happening, because when you end up with a lot of down time, scrolling through Instagram and sharing a shit ton of memes with a person who is sat right next to you doing the exact same thing is how you pass the time when you’re not reading, or sitting in silence. Or sleeping.

So it didn’t happen.

But that itch to just step back away from it all is still there. I just need to not feel like I am being overwhelmed by everything because for the most part it feels like every time I open up any form of social media I am just being inundated with news that is rarely anything but awful (because yeah for the most part I find out all my news on Twitter…). And it’s weird because it doesn’t feel like it should be that hard, but for some reason it is.

Don’t get me wrong I can spend time away from it, but then when I return to it after a few hours away because I was busy or sleeping, I find myself just continually scrolling back until I am caught up with where I last was. And then I’ve lost a whole chunk of time kind of doing nothing.

There was also a period of time where my brain would just think in ways it could tweet or captions for pictures that didn’t actually exist. Admittedly it was at a pretty shitty time mentally for me and so it felt like my brain was compensating and being like ‘post frothy, pointless stuff that hides the problem’. But it was still there. It still happened like that. It was still the way that my brain operated and thought to resolve the problem rather than tackle the bloody issue head on. (That’s not for now though.)

And I need that to not be the case.

Which should be easy. I mean there was a time when I didn’t even have social media. I remember that time. It wasn’t like I was always on it. I didn’t even create my own Facebook account, a friend at the time did it for me because they thought it was ridiculous that I didn’t have it. People still think that it’s ridiculous that I am no longer on it. It’s weird.

But on that note, I have removed myself from social media in some way before. I’ve felt compelled to return to Facebook only once, and I resisted that urge and now for the most part I don’t miss it. It was a toxic element of my life and I feel better for it not being a part of my life anymore. And it should work the same way for everything else.

Not that they are toxic to me or anything, but in that it shouldn’t be that bloody hard to step away from it all and not spend so much time glued to my phone

I’m going away this week and I think one that I need to get the hell of London because I’m starting to feel worn down by it all and two that I need to not travel all that time only to spend it scrolling endlessly through three different sites. I have things to plan and write and read and I want to not be distracted.

So they’re coming off my phone for a week. I’m blocking them on my Chrome. I’m just having a little digital detox. This blog is gonna be as connected as I get.

And it feels like I shouldn’t need to say that I’m doing it, but I feel like I need to just so that I can call myself out on this whole thing. It’s a bit weird, I know.

Love,

 

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Writing 101

Writing 101 – Let Social Media Inspire You

Hi, Hey, Hello!

Welcome to Monday! And somehow we are already almost a third through the month…whhaaaattttt???

Now the prompt for today is ‘let social media inspire you’ and I didn’t quite know what to do with it. I still don’t really know what to do with it as I am writing this post now. I have deleted so many paragraphs and half sentences because everything I wrote I hated. Like really hated, so I had to start over. Again and again. (So basically this is a warning that this post is rambly as hell.)

As distractions go, it is one of the best things there is because sometimes I would rather scroll endlessly through pictures of food then read or write or something else (seriously when I found New Fork City’s Instagram page I lost my entire lunch break). But then spookily I can also lose hours of my day just mindlessly scrolling and not notice. Which is maybe a bit of a problem.

I have also made so many good discoveries because of it (hello Hamilton…final mention for the time being I promise…maybe…) and then there’s the obvious, it’s great for keeping in touch with people and all that jazz. But with the good comes the bad (for me anyway) and that is that it also throws things at me that serve no other purpose except making me mad with no warning. And because I am still like a moth to a fucking flame I go down the rabbit hole of shit that I know I should just avoid (I wrote a whole post about that issue) and as a direct consequence I just exist in this little bubble where I think maybe I should just take one GIANT step back from social media.

Then there was that weird period of time where I found myself almost doing something just because it was ‘totally Instagrammable’, which is a dangerous place to get to. It lasted for all of a week and then I got my shit back together. But that’s what it can get to, and that’s a bit weird, especially as it came at time when I hadn’t even used the app for near to a year with no issue. That whole thing was made even weirder by the fact that at around the same point I felt bad when I didn’t update my Twitter for a day. Then I remembered that I haven’t put an actual status on Facebook since at least 2013 and the world hasn’t ended, because at the end of the day it is just the internet and your own social media profiles are yours to do with what you want, so I calmed the hell down and carried on living my life guilt free. Because nothing you elect to be a part of should come attached with guilt or bad feelings, what is the point of that really?

This post is almost as muddled as my thoughts right now about it, and I am fully aware that it sounds like I am being really whiny about something that is actually pretty great in a general sense and to me. I do love it 85% of the time. But like most things it can get a bit too much sometimes and a break is needed. Ain’t nothing wrong with that.

And with this mess of almost 600 words I conclude the task of letting social media inspire me. Although I think writing about it confused me more than anything else.

Parentheses count: 4. See you tomorrow!

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My Life

I can’t have another title about coffee…and yet here it is

Hi, Hey. Hello.

Not gonna lie I actually forgot today was Wednesday, somehow it crept up on me because all my days sort of blur into one even though I try to keep as busy as possible. Which meant that when I remembered last night in the middle of watching the Oscars I also realised that I didn’t really have anything to write about, and then a subject presented itself.

Social media.

More specifically parents and social media.

Now I have never been one of those people who particularly care about whether my parents are my friend on Facebook or follow me on Twitter because I have no real reason to. I pretty much only use Facebook as a way to store a lot of my pictures in one place and to keep in touch with a couple of people. I pay next to no attention to it, in fact the last thing I did was update my cover photo, if my parents want to see me do a whole lot of nothing and look at pictures that aren’t all that incriminating then they can go for it.

Same goes for my Twitter as well to be honest. It is my social media platform of choice but even then it’s not like I say anything on there that I wouldn’t say to my parents, if I was the kind of person to just talk in random song lyrics at my parents (although honestly at this point in time I don’t think they would be all that surprised if I did). If anything I am more censored on there then I am in life, I have a self imposed, rarely broken rule about the swear words I will and won’t use. I don’t know why, I just do. Me in life, not so censored and I used to be around my parents but over time that has stopped being the case.

The reason I am bringing this up is because I have forgotten that it’s the case. I forget my mum follows me on Twitter even though she told me to tweet a lot when I went away to New York/Orlando over summer last year because that was her way of checking up on me. I don’t tweet with her in mind, or anyone in mind for that matter, except I guess the artist of the song whose lyrics I am tweeting briefly. I largely just forget that people even read my tweets.

And then my mum brings something up in conversation that I know I haven’t said to her, but remember definitely tweeting about. For example towards the end of my final year in May I mentioned hunching over a desk and my back hating me for it and then my mum tried (and kinda failed, long story, maybe for another day) to send me something with the note ‘hunch over these instead’. For Christmas I got given a beautiful giraffe onesie that hadn’t even crossed my mind beyond me adding it to a wish list on Boux Avenue (as a side note I am so in love with that website it hurts). I didn’t mention it aloud, heck I didn’t even mention the website that I saw it on. I just mentioned in 140 characters (probably a bit less) something about owning one and then there it was beautifully wrapped and when I donned it (obviously) mum mentioned that saw my tweet about it back in November and went about finding one. (she then also told me that she couldn’t find me a loom but she could perhaps substitute it for a sewing machine when I tweeted that I was a loom away from being Miranda in the last episode of that show).

Anyway onto to why I decided to ramble about this for hundreds of words. Last night just as my mum was getting to head off to start getting ready for bed she looked at me and said something like ‘I gave up coffee for years and then decided that was silly so started drinking it again.’ It took me a second to figure out why she had brought it up and then it dawned on me that I talked about how it is a clear lie that it takes 21 days to break habit because at day 26 the daydreams about coffee are stronger than ever. I then proceeded to blow her mind when she asked if this coffee drought also meant that I hadn’t been to Starbucks all month (it does). And that seemed to shock her more than anything because even though I never actually talk about the fact I spend a lot of time in there it is a truth universally acknowledged that I spend a lot of time in there. The fact that I have also given that up too seemed to surprise her more than the fact that I was foolish enough to give up coffee in the first place.

Because that is another thing that I got out of this brief conversation with her about it. She also thinks I am silly, in fact everyone I know does at this point. She asked me why, and when I gave her no real reason (because seriously of all the things I’ve decided to do on whim this is the most unexplainable) she just shook her head and laughed. The only thing I could give her was that I am never gonna give it up again because she made a very good point…why give up the things I enjoy?

(While typing most of this up I finally watched Brokeback Mountain from start to finish and got a little bit of work for a couple of weeks next month. I also have three other things that I need to do over the rest of the week, two of which are blog related, so yay to productivity)

Parentheses count: 9. See you Sunday!

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